KEXP Pledge Drives Listener to People Magazine

We wish it wasn’t the case, but KEXP’s pledge drive (donate) is forcing some of us to seek ugly alternatives in light of the station’s increasingly aggressive tactics. Don’t get us wrong—listener-supported music is a good thing. KEXP offers more original, independent content than most of the stations in the country, let alone the region. But the confrontational demands for cash are beginning to resemble a back alley shakedown.

"We KNOW you're going to support us," one voice suggests.

"Make sure you tell EVERYONE you know!" another one pleads.

Really? Grandma too?

Since when did listener-supported radio become a pyramid scheme? It feels like an Amway presentation mixed with a bad drug debt. You keep waiting for someone over the radio to start screaming, "Where the fuck is my money, bitch?!"

Coming from voices we normally like, it seems all that much uglier. Like a good friend has suddenly fallen hard for coke and their normally cute demeanor has eroded into ugly desperation. You're almost half-expecting them to start offering sex acts if things don’t turn around soon.

It’s like a timeshare pitch, but it won’t end until you kill the radio or John in Berkeley pledges $40,000. Either way, nobody’s getting off easy until the man gets paid.

Friday, things reached a boiling point when the KEXP pledge drive drove us to Mariah Carey’s wedding photos. We actually turned off the radio and picked up a two-week-old issue of People Magazine that had been sitting in the recycling bin. We began leafing through photos of Mariah frolicking on the beach with some douchebag who actually tattooed her name over half his back. We knew we were near bottom. The only thing that could make this worse was photos of John Mayer's new "do," promised inside; fortunately things never came to that.

Eventually, Mariah’s unpalatable happiness drove us back to the 24-7 hard sales pitch that is the reality of KEXP this time of year. We had picked our poison.

What we need to remember is KEXP is a good thing most of the time. The community is better for it, even if the sales pitch induces anxiety attacks. Might as well support listener-powered radio before John in the Morning shows up on your doorstep blaring Dio with a crowbar in his hand.

Photograph courtesy of michael alan goldberg from Seattlest Flickr Pool