Not that we need to feed his ego or anything, but John Roderick (of The Long Winters) is a funny dude.

Whilst heating up our chicken pot pie from Trader Joe's, we perused a copy of the Weekly someone had left out. Starting from the back, it wasn't long before we saw a goofy cartoon Roderick giving us a great big toothy smile. With his column, entitled, "Exposing the Poker Skills of the Sasquatch! Class of 2008", Roderick offers his take on many of the local musicians playing Sasquatch this weekend, by way of their gambling habits.

Take it away, John:

Ben Gibbard likes to "sweat" his opponents, issuing veiled threats like "Your girlfriend is awfully pretty, it'd be a shame if something happened to her." Fortunately, he often overplays his hand and loses big. I own two, two, white stretch Hummer limos that I won from Gibbard, and he'll just go buy another one like it ain't no thing.

The Cave Singers' guitarist, Derek Fudesco, is an old-school crooked gambler. He's quiet, has a wry smile, and carries a pearl-handled derringer in his ankle boots. He can often be found hustling old ladies at Indian casinos throughout the Northwest, and he runs a rigged bingo game up in Everett on Wednesday nights when he's not on tour. He's also a check-forger, a welsher, and a chiseler. The Cave Singers themselves are an elaborate Ponzi scheme, a "long con" involving some shady mortgage brokers and a union retirement trust. If you try to buy a T-shirt after their show, you'll be invited to sign their mailing list. Don't sign anything!

Photo by Michael Alan Goldberg, a favorite contributer to the Seattlest Flickr Pool.