"Vintage VWs" by Flickr Photog T. Schneider

We just may have found Charles Mudede's next film subject. Edward Smith, a 57-year-old from Washington, whose sexual preference leans towards the automotive rather than the bestial. Smith's self-described romantic feelings toward cars began at age 15. (Auto erotica indeed!) Since then, Smith claims to have had sex with over 1,000 cars, though he is currently in a monogamous relationship with his girlfriend--a white Volkswagen Beetle he has named Vanilla.

Smith, it would seem, is a doting boyfriend. "I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend." He says he has never had any romantic interest in men or women and that he has no desire to change. About his unique romantic relationships, Smith says:

I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love. Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

Interestingly, Smith's most intense sexual experience was not with a car, but rather a helicopter. (Yes, it does boggle the mind.) Smith claims he has had committed relationships with a number of vehicles. Before Vanilla, he was in a five-year relationship with another VW Bug named Victoria. However, Smith admits to being a bit of a trollop, saying many of the cars he's made love to were anonymous, which in his world means cars that belong to strangers or were in sales showrooms.

There are moments way out in the middle of nowhere when I see a little car parked and I swear it needs loving. There have been certain cars that attracted me and I would wait until night time, creep up to them and just hug and kiss them.

Surely, there are just as many interesting social and cultural angles to explore with Smith's erotic feelings towards cars as there were in Zoo. What's more American than cars and sex? The two have long been equated together--from sexy advertisements to great American poems to strange films with James Spader in them. What muscle do we think we are really talking about when using the description "muscle car"? We suppose it was only a matter of time before someone literally combined the two. Edward Smith, of Washington State, is that man.