April 24, 2008
Underground Restaurants Get Little Sympathy Here
Was two weeks ago in this space, Seattlest James took up the cudgel for Gypsy dinners, falling right into the outlaws' trap. No and no, wrong and wrong. These guys aren't romantic Zorros, they're behaving like petulant teenagers.
Might as well piss off our good friends at Gypsy, Vagabond, Caché, OnePot, KillTheRestaurant and Culinary Communion. You got busted. Somebody called the Liquor Board to complain that a cooking class used—oh my God—wine to deglaze a dish. Argues the state: if you use a controlled substance (like wine), you've gotta get a license. And not just some one-off, ten-buck Class J permit, either.
Well, you'd think the sky had fallen. “Betrayal!” said the email announcement by Culinary Communion's chef Gabriel Claycamp (in photo at right, before auditioning for the Food Network).
Well, now, look, fellas. Every restaurant in the state (except, maybe, Minnie's) plays by the rules. They pay rent while you use private premises, they pay utilities and insurance, they pay B&O on their gross receipts, they pay accountants and lawyers, and, above all, they pay their effing taxes. 13.7 percent on liquor sales, my friends, in addition to sales taxes and all the rest.
You want to be like Costco, complain that you're so big you deserve “special treatment?” Think again. Costco lost its suit against the Liquor Board last month. You want “special treatment” because you're edgy and underground? Hey, every legitimate, taxpaying restaurant in the state will fight you, tooth and nail. What makes you think you're so goddamn special that you can thumb your nose at the world?
You've been on national TV, for heaven's sake, with Anthony Bourdain! How can you complain about being betrayed??
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Seriously?
Um, Minnie's closed a while back.
And why did Minnie's close? It was closed by the IRS because of unpaid taxes, well over $100,000.
Word. Throw a dinner party or run a restaurant. You have to choose one or the other.
Minnies made Denny's look like the Palace Kitchen. Horrible on all fronts.
It's a trap? Hell!
While I belonged to Gypsy, I think the secrecy -- and melodramatic responses to perceived betrayal -- is (was) part of the entertainment value. Like Lost, it benefits from having an end.
That said, I can't get indignant about their circumventing the law. I won't cry nanny-state, but shutting down underground restaurants seems on par with busting sex workers and breaking up private poker parties -- waste of resources.
That said, it's the laws that gotta change.
James, I don't disagree with the entertainment value of Gypsy, but as Simonian says, it's a dinner party, not a restaurant.
Real restaurants have to worry about whether the dishwasher will show up.
And here's a note I received from an industry insider who wants to remain anonymous:
It seems the point of the private dinners is to encourage new people to meet and have a different experience, not try to be a restaurant or the coolest thing on the block. There is also the warmth of preparing food personally for people you interact with. I don't see the point of being so upset on either side, live and let live.
BTW on the Costco case, Washington has state-run non-competitive tax markup silly liquor laws, so I don't blame Costco for trying to make it a little easier for everyone to get a drink -- Costco was just trying to work like they do in several other states.
Ronald, sounds like your "industry insider" is speculating about who the dishwashers were for this sort of thing. I can tell you, because on a number of occasions I was one, and I don't work as a dishwasher or even in a restaurant. Sometimes we were guests; other times we were servers,
dishwashers, platers. It's about a love of food. This wasn't the sort of thing that you could get at a restaurant. It was intimate, and fun.
I'm beginning to think I need to start my own "underground restaurant" or maybe I just need to have a good bbq.
Happy Eating!