Primaries '08: Unemployed Steel Workers Have Their Say

Thank the sweet lord that the Pennsylvania Primary is finally here.

In the six weeks since Barack Obama won Vermont, we've been forced to deal with the worst of what American political campaigns have to offer. Seriously, you folks in Western Pennsylvania want to talk about bitterness, just get any Seahawk fan started on the Super Bowl against your Steelers. We’ll see your guns and religion, and raise you clinging to the game’s officiating.

After Clinton wins tonight, we can finally move on to the primaries that Democrats have been looking forward to since November 3, 2004--North Carolina and Indiana.

We are, of course, guessing that Hillary will win, which is nice because while the Clintons have been losing all their old friends, they've been making new ones--who we're sure she's anxious to pal around with once she returns to the Senate.

If you want to watch the returns with complete strangers, the Clinton supporters will be meeting at the Montlake Ale House, probably because of the lack of Persian food on the menu.

Spitfire sometimes has a primary gathering, and if they don't, well you can stick around and watch the Mariners/Orioles and Suns/Spurs game.

However, if you want to stay at home, might we suggest picking up dinner at Philly's Best or Philly Fevre. Maybe you prefer a taste of the Alleghany, in which case make yourself a Primanti Brother's sandwich. If you want to represent Central Pennsylvania, well then just grab any meal at a gas station on your way home.

In twenty-four hours this will all be over, and we can shift to the wooing of North Carolina's John Edwards and Indiana's Thomas Hendricks.