Oh boy.

It started very badly. We thought we might have to toss a shoe at the TV just to make it stop. But then something magical happened. Kristy Lee Cook sang the CRAP out of that Mariah Carey song.

We learned recently that there are two camps among the American Idol contestants: those who have asked to be quarantined from any form of media wherein their performance or other aspects of their existence might be discussed, and those who can't get enough of it. In case KLC is in the "can't get enough of it" camp, here's our little note to her for future reference: stay out of your low range. You don't seem to feel very confident there, even though it's not bad. You've got the belting gene—maybe you're just figuring that out. But use it, girl. Also, thank you for throwing that slide guitar into the arrangement, whoever's responsible for that. Witness:

She's really starting to show us that she's not only got the belting skills, but she's also quietly brilliant in her song choice. Imagine KLC winding up in the Top 5? It could actually happen. This was her week to blow it. Nobody would've been surprised if she blew Mariah Carey week. But see how thrilled she was when everyone in the audience booed Randy Jackson? Girlfriend's on to something.

Mariah Carey, it turns out, is a total sweetheart and a really good vocal coach. She appeared to really be working with the contestants, suggesting melodies that are better for their ranges. She also seemed to inspire everyone to look amazing. It was a hott-looking week on AI all across the board.

(Run-down of how all the non-locals did after the cut.)

Carly Smithson didn't blow us away like she really could have (and usually does), but she looked hott, which is fine. She did enough to keep herself safe and prove that even her eh performances are far and away, a million times better than everyone else on the show. (Yes, we're now a very biased fan.)

David Archuleta was good, but predictably and forgettably so. We didn't even remember what song he sang, but it wasn't one that Mariah even had a whole lot to do with. Some Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston duet, which was weird when done by one person instead of two, but whatever. Moving on.

David Cook, who made everyone else ooh and ah with his "Always Be My Baby" didn't knock our socks off, but we give him credit for continuing to be the Blake Lewis (read: real musician who can arrange, and stuff) of the season.

Finally of note, Brooke White was just not hitting it. She was shaking like a whore in church at the end. It was kind of sad. She's got a lot of really great talent and we're really starting to like the energy she brings to her stuff, but she might end up in the bottom this week. We bet she can actually write good singer/songwritery songs, and we look forward to getting her CD.

Our guess for the bottom two this week: Syesha and Brooke, with Syesha going home.