Ever notice the big tree at the North end of Macy’s sitting on that tiny island in the middle of Stewart Avenue? Is it us, or is that thing fading faster than Christine Gregoire's chances of being re-elected?

Can we really blame it? Imagine being the only natural thing standing in a sea of transition and fumes--you’d look haggard, too. It probably feels like former Governor Spitzer’s wife. It ain’t easy being the only big, coniferous, full-time tree downtown--unlike those dime-a-dozen, deciduous jokes that line every sidewalk around here like cheap toothpicks.

The life of the Fourth and Stewart tree is nothing like that lazy, bitch Christmas tree that rolls right into the center of Westlake, sticks around for the five most appreciative tree weeks of the year, then calls it good. No, the Fourth and Stewart tree is a full-time gig. Nobody loves a big tree in the middle of the road when it’s raining in early March. There are no 15 minute breaks from the constant exhaust, the wayward McDonalds wrappers, and those parasite-riddled pigeons. Children don’t circle at its base and recite seasonal hymns. Bicycle messengers occasionally spit in its direction, but that’s pretty much the extent of the recognition that thing gets. Next time you think you're miserable, try doing a 70-year stint with no relatives or friends, lodged between a bus line and a hair academy. You think the Shane Company ads were annoying? Try living across the street from the fucking flagship for the better part of your life. Then come talk to the Fourth and Stewart tree.

Seattlest is no arborist, but we know when somebody needs a little love. And, frankly, it’s a shame downtown’s biggest real tree looks like it's coming off a 40-year drinking binge.

Photograph from Seattlest Flickr Pool by Pink_Fish13