February 1, 2008
Men's Wearhouse Presents: How to Lose Customers and (Negatively) Influence Sales
George Zimmer would not have liked what went down at the Tukwila Men's Wearhouse Wednesday evening. We guarantee it.
Seattlest walked in with our fiancée. We knew we'd be accosted by a sales clerk, but our plan was to rebuff them and browse. Maybe ask about fit and fabrics. (We don't know suits from fine china.) Our plan fell apart when a female clerk—we'll call her Bitchy—pounced before the door closed behind us.
(Reading guide: Bitchy speaks in a blatantly condescending tone. Pepper in some sarcasm and you've got it.)
Bitchy: Looking for a suit?
Seattlest: Yeah, just browsing.
B: Do you know your size?
S: Yes, but we're just looking tonight.
B: What's your size?
S: [REDACTED]
B: Well, you're on the wrong side of the store. Over here.
We shrug and follow Bitchy toward the narrow-shouldered side. As we're walking...
B: What's the occasion? Do you have an interview this weekend?
S: No.
B: Is it for a wedding?
S: Yeah, a wedding.
B: Who's wedding? Your wedding? [Points from us to our fiancee, back to us.] You two?
S: Yes, our wedding.
B: When is your wedding?
S: August.
We arrive at the opposite wall. Bitchy spins around, clearly disgusted.
B: August?
S: August.
B: Well, unless your wedding is next month, there's no point in looking at suits.
S: We just wanted to see what you had.
B: Our stock rotates three, no four, times a year. By August we'll have a completely different selection. I don't know why you're doing this now.
S: We wanted to see what you had. To browse.
B: Right now we have suits for winter, then we'll get spring suits. By August, we'll have summer suits. Totally different than what we have now.
S: What will be different for summer—fabrics? Styles?
B: I have no idea what we'll have. Linens, tans, probably. Are you going to buy a suit tonight?
S: Nope.
B: Then I don't know why you're here.
S: Um.
B: What color do you want? Grey? Black?
S: Brown, actually.
B: Brown. That's a different choice for a wedding.
S: That's the idea.
B: Light brown? Dark brown? Tan?
S: Dark brown.
Bitchy pulls out a black pinstriped suit and brandishes it at us.
B: This is dark brown. Is this what you're thinking?
It isn't. It's black.
S: Well, not really.
B: It's dark brown. But we won't have this in August.
She hangs the suit again and stares at us.
S: Okay then, thanks.
B: Come see us again in August. I can't help you now.
We walked out, stunned.
Note to Men's Wearhouse: We're gonna like how we look in a suit from somewhere—anywhere—else.
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Why would you want to browse for suits? Suits = money = time. You can't enjoy shopping. That's immoral.
Yeah, I heart sarcasm.
Wow! Which Men's Wearhouse was it? Northgate? We had the same experience when we went to the Northgate location. What the hell is wrong with being prepared...for your wedding, nonetheless? She acted like we were from another planet when we were shopping for a July wedding in April.
Bitchy is right.
Dont look for suits at any store with "wearhouse" in the title. Buncha cheap, fused garbage. Go to Marios. Or wait for H&M to open this fall if youre on a budget.
Go to the Bellevue location and ask for Victoria Dan. She's amazing. She'll guide you, not so gently but oh-so-satisfyingly to the suit of your dreams.
Guaranteed.
I had a buddy who played golf with George Zimmer one time. And yes, he really talks like that in real life.
Exactly. The only thing you should purchase at a "wearhouse" are tires or car batteries. Go to the Brooks Brothers downtown and you'll be looking good.
actually check Yoox.com a lot. depending on what time of year it is you can snag decent Italian stuff like 80% off retail.
Depending on what you're willing to spend, bespoke is always the way to go...
Bespoke means: Made just for you. Someone takes your measurements and then constructs a suit based on your needs/tastes.
Check out www.likearockstar.com
Christopher Jones is the shit and will make a suit you can't find in a "warehouse," or any other place for that matter.
qft
If I had an extra 15k sitting around itd be made into a bespoke Kiton suit with a custom holster built into the inside of the jacket!
Holy crap, looks like I've got a lot more "browsing" to do. Yoox might work, but bespoke sounds more than a little over my head bank account.
Nordstrom Rack in Factoria (much better than the one downtown). Nordstrom quality at better prices.
Oh my gosh! This is so similar to what happened to my husband and me, it's eerie. He wore a suit for our wedding as well. And yes, it was BROWN. We went to our local Men's Wearhouse and the clerk who harassed us showed us black suit after black suit, once or twice a blue suit, and all the while we were reminding him that we needed a BROWN suit. We had brought in fabric the wedding party would be wearing to color match, and he'd simply set it aside without even looking at it.
Finally, he absorbed what we were saying and responded "Well we don't HAVE brown suits. You should try Italian Connection downtown. They've got crazy suits in yellows and purples."
Now, I don't mean to jump to conclusions, but I'm pretty sure he was implying that anyone who would wear a brown suit would just as soon wear something like the image you've got posted up there... And it was rather insulting! This was our wedding for crying out loud!
At any rate, we ended up going to S&K where we found a really nice brown suit which went very well with the rest of our wedding attire. Best of luck to you!
Of all the places I've ever bought clothes, Men's Warehouse is the one place where I have not liked the way I looked.