Cascade Mountain High

Photo by Shawnmebo
There’s nothing like a clear winter day to illustrate how beautiful Seattle’s natural skylines are. As the only major American city to boast not one, but two mountain ranges easily within view (the Aurora Bridge is a dangerous yet spectacular place to catch both ranges with a simple swivel of the head) it’s days like this that make Seattlest reflect upon what an overrated piece of shit Denver is.
Folk cornball John Denver may have sealed the national meme for Colorado’s biggest city but Seattle has Denver beat on every level with the exception of snow quality. If Mt. Rainier were a prize fighter it would kick every mountain in Colorado’s ass. While only 14 thousand odd feet tall, Mt. Rainier is coming straight up from sea level. That’s 14 thousand feet of pure, glaciated, ass kicking volcano! Meanwhile those bitches in Colorado are sitting on a 6 thousand foot booster chair before they even start getting into the air. Think of the Rockies as the world’s biggest push-up bra. Pike’s Peak is taller than Mt. Rainier but you can practically drive to the summit. Try driving up Mt. Rainier and you’ll end up like a footnote in a Jon Krakauer book.
In addition to beautiful mountains we have the Puget Sound teeming with aquatic wonders and a resident Orca pod. Denver has the Midwest and a large evangelical population. (ED: Also, John Elway. Blech.)
Seattlest would like to remind the rest of the nation that next time they want to talk mountain beauty they had better remember the volcanic glory of Mt. Rainier and our multiple mountain ranges before lazily defaulting to Denver because they can’t get John Denver out of their head.
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