Private School Basketballers Prepare Public School Counterparts For a Lifetime of Frustration and Hopelessness

We all know what happens to kids who attend private school. Their folks buy them 16 years of education, they get a job at Daddy's firm, and eventually they sit in board rooms and devise ways to increase profits--usually by laying off kids who went to public school.

The forward-thinking youth at private Kennedy High don't want the hopeless, powerless lives of their public school lessers to come as a shock, so they are preparing them for it by obliterating them on the basketball court.

Already this season, Kennedy's girls' basketball team has:

--Beaten public Highline High 85-18
--Beaten public Tyee High 84-6
--And the coup de grace, destroyed public Evergreen High by 96 points, 112-16 (The 34-1 2nd quarter was what we sportswriters call "the turning point.").

This last vivisection compelled the Seamount League basketball commissioner to send a letter decrying blowout wins.

The Kennedy coach says it won't happen again, but we don't think it has to.

Message received: Public school kids, you aren't just going to fail, you are going to fail big.

Photo by Grundlepuck from the Seattlest Flickr Pool