Presidential Round Table Discussion

Luke: Um yeah, but what if she's already there...you know what I mean? Look, say what you will, but I likey the older ladies.

John (Los Angeles Times): I'd like this roundtable to advocate--whilst secretly hiding--the use of 'New Hamp' as a nickname.

Mark: The New Hamp Rally that featured Maddy Albright was a sausage fest. Hordes of 20-something boys were trying to wait each other out. But you gotta hand it to Luke, he stayed to 2:00am and he took her home.

Luke: Just like in foreign policy...flowers and chocolate will get you everywhere. I think it was the Ayatollah Khomeini who said, "What? For me?"

Ryan (NBC News): Wait. Are we still speaking metaphorically or did Luke sincerely bone Madeleine Albright? Speaking of boning things sincerely, hey New Hampshire, I guess you showed us. What's next, a tribal armband tattoo? What a weak statement to make. If you're going to do it, do it right, shock some people. Or as the old saying goes: If you're going to rebel, think Mike Gravel. You know it's true because it rhymes. All those rhyming rules are ironclad. "Liquor Before Beer" has saved my life quite a few times. And once, my girlfriend went black, and I haven't heard from her since.

John: Why are we talking about bedding Ms. Albright when [White House Press Secretary] Dana Perino still has red hot blood pumping through her veins?

Ryan: Oh Dana! I have two words for her. "Helloooo" and "Nurse." Do you think she could take Kucinich's wife in a fight? A pillow fight? In my room? On my Jell-O Bed? This Friday? No, Saturday's no good, I have to work. Sunday afternoon? Wait, when do the Patriots play? We'll have to try for next week, but let's really try to make this happen.

Seattlest: What about on the Republican side? Romney’s early strategy was to score victories in Iowa and New Hampshire and roll from there, is he finished?

Luke: This is only my gut feeling, but I just feel like Romney lost his sense of validity. After that nonsensical explanation about what he meant when he "saw" his father march with Martin Luther King Jr. it feels like people aren't willing to buy into him. He kind of comes across like a car salesman or something. You just get a sense that he's feeding you bullshit from the moment he opens his mouth.

Mark: Even though Romney is much younger, bigger, and buffer, you still get he impression that McCain could whoop his ass.

Luke: McCain? Eh. The Republican side is too close to call. Of course Huckabee isn't going to play well as an evangelical in New Hampshire, so that's no surprise. On a side note, my grandma lives in New Hampshire, and she voted for McCain. She also drinks a lot.

John: I'm citing the McCain-repeat-NH-victory as the reason he took it, but all I really know is Romney hasn't a chance. Unless the Repubs try for the swimsuit and evening gown portion.

Luke: I'm just not willing to draw any conclusions after voting in one of the tiniest states in the country.

Jeff: Yeah, but the first one to the party gets to decide which dip gets opened.

Ryan: Anyway, I would agree that Ol' Willard Romney is looking worse and worse as the campaign moves on, and though I used to have a good deal of respect for McCain, he wasted that when he went on Jon Stewart and said that he was Bush's man through and through. It's a shame, he went through all that torture for nothing. Too soon? Also, Mike "Gay people are just making an immoral choice" Huckabee is getting scarier by the second. Jesus. Seriously though, Jesus. It's just too bad Ron Paul apparently has leprosy. He doesn't? Then why won't they give him any coverage? Oh right, he makes too much sense. I don't want to go too negative here, but let me be the very first to say that our political process may have some slight flaws.

Mark: Wait, what part of Ron Paul makes sense? The part where he believes the state and federal government should step in to prevent women from having abortions. The abolishment of public education. The dropping of an income tax and the end of the IRS. Wait, is he a Republican against the war? Well then he must be a maverick genius.

Luke: Nothing is more precious to me than the look on Ron Paul's face when one of the candidates during the debate says something like, "Have you forgotten about 9/11?", or "I hope you don't really mean to say that United States foreign policy has something to do with our damaged worldwide reputation." or "America only wants to spread goodness to people in the planet." You can definitely tell he's trying to dumb himself down in order to respond appropriately. It's like having a conversation with a 3 year old when you catch yourself saying things like, "Yeah, that princess has to comb her hair for the party." That's Ron Paul's entire life right now.

Mark: I used to like McCain, but I can't get that image of him hugging Bush and backing him in 2004 out of my head. I think Romney might get enough 2nd place finishes to win the nomination.

Seattlest: Thanks, fellas.