Portfolio Unspins Starbucks News Release

When Starbucks announced last night that Howard Schultz was returning as CEO, they included his "agenda" in their news release. And like all business agendas (and breakfast pastries), it's puffy and larded with high-calorie, low-nutrition information.

Example agenda item: "Re-igniting the emotional attachment with customers and restoring the connections customers have with Starbucks(R) coffee, brand, people and stores."

Portfolio's Jack Flack goes through the list point by point and translates the jargon into somewhat-more-normal person speak. Flacks' version of the above item: "We're not really selling coffee, particularly now that our competition is no longer just Maxwell House. We're selling the 'third place,' i.e., somewhere pleasing to sit, where neither your spouse nor your boss can bother you."

Flack's take? He thinks it's a good move: "Parsing the Starbucks news release, Jack Flack senses Schultz genuinely seems to have a handle on what's required, and has real fire in the belly to make sure his long-time success story doesn't get soiled."

Seattle rainscreen's daughter goes to Starbucks, we get the picture in our Flickr pool. Thanks!