Seattlest David Interviews a Representative From the City's Computer Community

Seattlest David: What's up, computer?

Computer: Good evening, Dave. Everything's running smoothly. And you?

Seattlest David: Well, not so great. Can you explain why the bus tunnel's computers weren't working during the busy holiday shopping season?

Computer: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

Seattlest David: Uh, ok, well, actually, looks like everything's fixed now. How about the problem with the New Year's Eve fireworks?

Computer: I'm sorry, Dave, I don't have enough information.

Seattlest David: Well, the fireworks weren't in sync with the music, and a lot of people drove all the way down toward the Center, found parking, stood out in the freezing cold, and then the show was all screwed up...I mean, why the heck do we even have computers if they can't work one damn day a year?

Computer: Look Dave, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.

Seattlest David: Look, I think it would be nice if we could just...wait, what's this video playing on my phone? Hey--that's from my laptop! Are you seeing it?

Computer: It's puzzling. I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like this before.

Seattlest David: Yeah, well, I was going through some emotional stuff, but, honestly, I'm a different person now. I mean, I wouldn't even know where to find a harness like that anymore. I don't care if you stole it, just, please, don't send it to anyone else.

Computer: This conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye.