John Moe's Dear John

What a glorious morning! The Sonics have won three of five, Edgar Martinez wasn't in the Mitchell Report, we've got a kickin' holiday party to attend tonight.

Guess we'll just check out Monkey Disaster, the blog of ex-KUOWer, Conservatize Me author and Seattlest favorite John Moe and see what's up with him...

I'm writing you this letter to let you know that I'm leaving you. I've met someone else. Someone named Paul. St Paul. I'm going to be moving in with Paul this coming Spring.

No...NO! NO NO NO NO NO! Nooooo [trails off into sound of sobbing] John, no! You can't leave us..for St. Paul? That frigid bitch?

I spent a few days with Paul last week when the temperature was, like, 5 degrees and yeah, I still want to be with Paul and so does my family. Paul can make me hotdish on a cold night. Also, to my surprise, Paul makes some reeeeeally good coffee and beer so that's actually all covered.

Fine, John. You want to freeze your ass off, and drink that "reeeeeally good" coffee (better than Ladro? We're so sure)? You go right ahead.

I know you're not the type to come running after me asking me to stay, Seattle (that aloofness is actually part of the problem - sorry!)

Wow. You really...you really know how to hurt us, John. We never thought you could be so cruel.

Okay, Seattle. I gotta go. But listen, I'll be writing a LOT more about this in months to come.

Ha. We're not going to read that. Oh, who are we kidding, of course we will. John, we wish we knew how to quit you! [Last sentence banned by order of the Committee for Eradicating Stale Pop Culture References]