Hawks Fans Are Watching Lots of Ball Kicking
Lately the Seahawks' offense has been about as offensive as a Bastyr College commencement address.
Against Pittsburgh on Sunday, they didn't score once (much like your average Bastyr College commencement speaker, unless we're talking about scoring weed).
What's wrong? Well, it sure ain't the coach. Mike Holmgren has called the plays for four Super Bowl teams--as easy as it is to blame the coach, we can rule it out in this case.
Thus, it's the players--or what's left of them. Three opening day starters aren't playing, because they're hurt.
Former NFL MVP Shaun Alexander is a shell of his former self, his running this season has resurrected painful memories of Vince Weathersby, a Husky halfback who, in the immortal words of our friend's dad, "looked like he was running through molasses."
The other two stars of the offense, Matt Hasselbeck and Walter Jones, are declining, as football players tend to do in their 30s.
It happens sometimes in sports--here you are, plodding along with a pretty good team, and then BOOM (as John Madden, who'll call Sunday's game vs. New Orleans, might say) suddenly all those "veteran leaders" have become "washed-up pieces of shit." For more evidence of this, see the 2004 Mariners.
This whole mess is making the Seahawks very difficult to watch. The Hawks defense is so good this year, they are making opposing teams look like, well, the Seahawks, so most games turn into puntfests.
If you've watched every minute of every Seahawks game this year, as we have, you've seen 63 punts.
We at Seattlest like a good punt as much as the next blog--the sheer force rippling through the punter's muscular punter-shaped body as he launches a leathery spheroid into orbit--but this is ridiculous.
The good news is, the Hawks' next two games are against winless teams--so they should have a little leeway in figuring out the right formula.
In the meantime, if someone offers you Seahawks tickets--unless you're the type of person that gets a thrill out of watching balls being kicked, you might want to take a pass.
