Seattle vs. Portland: Our Contributors Debate to the Death
Seattle. Portland. Which one's better? You may say: "How can you choose? Each has their good points. It's like asking which religion is better." Guess what, asshole, that Negative Nellie attitude is the reason nobody ever asks for your fucking opinion. Jerk. Yesterday, Jeremy Barker advocated the pro-Seattle position. Now, it's Portland's turn.
Why Portland is better than Seattle, by Katie "The Kalama Quickdraw" Tiehen
Before we get into this, let's just lay out what we all know: Seattle and Portland are both pretty white, pretty educated, pretty liberal, pretty green and pretty upper/middle-class.
Gentrification happens. Everywhere. It sucks! It's expensive! But we also like Whole Foods sushi! And walks in the Pearl District! So just because Portland is gentrified and Seattle is gentrified and both are on the West Coast and are "associated with music" doesn't mean we need to spend our lives speaking of one in terms of the other.
Obviously, I love PDX. I happen to live in Seattle and like it just fine too. Accept a challenge to go to bat for my hometown? You betcha. Portland is my Red Sox! I'll never abandon her: through the highs, lows, Packwoods, Trailblazer drug charges and asshole street kids alike. In six years, I've never felt that connection to Seattle.
People in the Northwest have developed a habit of speaking of Portland as Seattle's underdog: smaller, friendlier, quirkier, etc, etc. Note: This is really fucking annoying.
Portland stands alone, folks! And Portland often kicks ass before Seattle does!
Before we had our swanky new SAM, there was the swanky new PAM and its swanky new director. Two decades before we paid for and then voted against the monorail, Portland was Max-ing all over the place. As Seattle worries about strippers and curfews, Portland gives Jiggles and the Acropolis a big bear hug and welcomes to town all of my favorite bands. And the parks! If we're going to talk about parks, Portland wins. And the mark of a great city is its parks. Are you even going to try and compare our Japanese gardens? Don't. We lose.
Seattle will never be Portland, because they are two entirely different beasts. To explain, I may have to venture into that scary world of "feelings." Do you mind? No? Good. Portland just feels different. It's a little gritty. It feels sleepy and shady (really, they have great trees) and humble. The original architecture downtown hasn't yet been destroyed, and in some places it's still a little dirty. People are eccentric, but in an endearing way. Portlanders are proud of their city and invest in their communities.
And best of all, Portland never feels like it wants to be anything other than Portland: take it or leave it, James Mercer or no, it's still Portland. Seattle hasn't quite figured out how to marry its alternative and corporate roots and slapping on bullshit labels like "metronatural" just doesn't do the trick.
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