Surprise, Surprise

Amy Winehouse ain't gonna be playing at the Paramount next month:

Due to the rigours involved in touring, Amy Winehouse has been advised to postpone her upcoming September US and Canadian tour dates. All ticket holders may obtain refunds at their point of purchase. Amy's European and UK tour dates in October and November remain in place. Plans are being made to reschedule her US tour for early 2008. Until then, Amy has been ordered to rest and is working with medical professionals to address her health.

Decoding the language of publicists, "rigours involved in touring" = overdosing after a three-day binge on a concoction of substances including heroin, cocaine, ketamine, ecstasy, and a lotta booze, while "is working with medical professionals to address her health" = skipping out of rehab for the second time.

Regardless, don't expect to see her rescheduling those shows any time soon. Even Amy says she'll be dead within a year.