Weather Dominator Sought by Terrorists, Seattlest

There was a lot of shit-talking when it hit 98 on Wednesday, but the light at the end of the tunnel for some of us was the prospect of surfing again this weekend. What better way to ignore the non-existent mythological hoax that is global warming than to put on a wet suit and freeze your balls off in the icy waters of the Pacific Northwest?

Typically, the weekend offers no such joy: while the city sweltered and died during the business days, our coast will be partly cloudy with a high of 72 for Saturday and then rain on Sunday, with a high of 63. PSYCHE!

Whatever happened to the good ol' days when all it took to control the weather was some plucky ingenuity by a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world? Seattlest beseeches you...