Counterpoint: Dick's Fries Suck

Whatever you want to call them, you know the french fry style we're talking about. They're the fries whose flavorlessness is only surpassed by their texturelessness. Dicks has em. Gimmie a Deluxe, a Spesh, an onion, a tiny bag of wet mush and a chocolate shake. Fucking everyone has em. These fries are the ultimate cop-out for restaurants that can't find a decent french fry supplier and opt for just buying potatos. French fries aren't rocket science, although--and this may be news to many many area restaurants--they are more than a slice of potato dropped in oil for twenty seconds. You gotta double dip! You think you can spit in the face of fry tradition just because you have a potato slicer? Seattle, always thinking it needs to reinvent the wheel...

From Wikipedia:

Some home cooks who prepare French fries from scratch, cook them a single time in a generous amount of oil pre-heated to a temperature around 375 °F (190 °C) until they are golden and slightly crisp. The method recommended by most cookbooks, and used by many restaurants, especially those reputed to have excellent French fries, cook them in two stages: first at a temperature at around 350 °F (177 °C), until the fries are nearly cooked but still limp and pale; then, after they have been removed from the oil and allowed to cool, at a higher temperature, generally around 375 °F (190 °C), until they are golden and crisp, which normally takes less than a minute.

Normally we're in favor of a dishes that closely resemble their primary ingredients, but that breaks down at the potato because potatoes suck. They have to be gussied up. You throw garlic and sour cream in when you mash them. You throw everything under the sun in when you bake them. You don't even think about boiling them, and when you fry them you have to double dip and then have something (FREE, Dicks) to dip them in.

Give us curly fries, shoestring fries, crinkly fries, crispy fries, burnt to shit fries, jo jos, frites, cheese fries, anything but the damn Fresh Cut Fries. McDonalds fries are better. Yes, they're engineered in a laboratory and sprayed with all kinds of weird Flavor #405a and may or may not contain any actual potato products, but at least they look, feel and taste like a fry and not like a salty al dente noodle. Fresh Cut fries are the absolute worst regional culinary tick we can think of. We realize we may be in the minority on this, but we're right. Passionately so, apparently. If a transfat ban in Seattle will mean restaurants like Dicks and every other damn place in town will start making real french fries we're all for it.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Dan in Food on July 10, 2007 12:01 PM

Comments [rss]

guest

I'm so sick of you carpetbagging mothescratchers bitching about Seattle and our food. Fist thing you do when you move here from the East Coast is bitch about not being able to get a good bagel. Screw bagels, screw the east coast, and screw you. Have a crumpet and shut the hell up. This is Seattle; it rains alot, and we like our fries soggy! Perhaps you'd like to piss on Ivar Haglund or J.P Patches next?

MyPosse'sOnBroadway

guest

Dick's fries are absolutely disgusting. Their burgers are legit though.

guest

@MSandison

cooking food the way it was meant to be cooked is gourmet?

guest

The Dick's in Spokane has different ownership. I also heard they have a panda as a mascot. Not the same thing.

Troy Morris

I've been trying to get Dick's to open a shop by the stadiums in that abandoned building a block north of the new Silvercloud. The one with the red top trim.

Stadium goers. Rainer Beach folks. West Seattle folks. Georgetown folks. South Seattle folks. Lot's of folks would go there. But they won't do it.

But they'll have a shop in Spokane....

Oh, and they use Kraft American Cheese. Blah.

God I love Dick's.

poliWA

Dan, come on now. Do you really think Dick's will change their ways after 53 years of doing things the same? Deal.

Dick's is not meant to be 'gourmet' fast food with succulent, mouth-watering french fries. It's quick, sloppy and as a result: cheap. Deal!

James Callan

Can I eat at Dick's but not order the fries? That's my current solution, but if you'd prefer I give them no money at all, I can probably figure out how to do that instead.

MarkS

Hey if you don't like Dick's fries eat somewhere else. It aint like it's the only fucking fast food joint in Seattle.

guest

the fries are delicious?

guess there's no accounting for taste. some people will eat anything.

why not just eat some soggy bread? same basic thing.

guest

BLASPHEMER! CARPETBAGGER! FOR SHAME! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT DICK'S FRIES ARE NOT AS DELICIOUS AS THEY TRULY ARE! CHARLATAIN, JEZZEBELLE!

Jake of 8bitjoystick.com

(It's not taking my login and password and my works Firewall hates the comment registration system.)

guest

what the f is wrong with you people? those fries are delicious. seriously did you die and wake up in the stupid tree? its greasy salty fried potato. cook it and eat it. what the F???

tvargs

I know that when I'M smoking: Dick's fries are tasty. Other (more sober) times: Decidedly less so. Still, I think it should be pointed out that a second frying time means that the fries will take that much longer to get to you. And I for one am constantly impressed and amazed at the vicious speed with which delicious, cheap food comes to me at the Dick's ordering window. I'll take speed over "slightly crispy" fries any day. Additionally, we all know McDonald's fries are good - but does that mean we eat there?

guest

what the hell are you guys smoking? Dicks frys are delicious

guest

doesn't matter the temperature you fry the potatoes in. if you fry them only once they will be limp. unless of course you leave them in the oil for 30 minutes then you get grease soaked twigs.

the science behind twice cooked potatoes is that the first fry seals the outside of the potato allowing the natural water inside the spud to turn to steam. this steam, which is now trapped in the inside of the fry, cooks the inside of the potato to a fluffy consistency. from there you remove the fries, crank up the heat and drop them back in so that you give the exterior of the fry a chance to become golden-brown, crispy and delicious. chefs around the world have known this principle for years. the five extra minutes it takes to do the two step process is worth it in customer satisfaction.

though judging by TroyJMorris's comment he's not there for the flavorful cuisine. i suppose if you are drunk, moist cardboard fits the bill for filler. plus, it's simple.

Jameson

I think the problem with Dick's is that they crowd the fryer and bring the oil temp down too much and never let them cook long enough to become crispy. They are just filling orders as quickly as they can and it doesn't matter if the fries aren't ready.

jeanna

oh my gosh. thank you baby jesus. i thought i was the only one who hated dick's fries more than anything. they're gross! give me crispy, deep-fried-twice, trans fatty fries from McDonalds any day over Dick's fries. Blech! i've argued for years about this, but seem to always be arguing with people that think they're great. eff that!

Troy Morris

I know Dick's fries are not tasty. But they're not bland. They're... filling. And that's how they should be thought of. Something to soak up the alcohol and not be noticed.

And I too have had some in-and-out (horribly over-rated) and it tastes like a crispy potato.

Dick's is about simplicity. And if there fries were tasty, it wouldn't be simple.

guest

Having lived in Southern California for several years, I can verify that In n' Out has crisp and golden fries. Unfortunately, they taste like potatoes, which misses the point of french fries entirely. Dick's fries are hit-or-miss -- they can sometimes be too soggy for my once-a-week habit -- but in their ideal state (salty, greasy, and almost crispy, they're heavenly.

I can't fault the City Council for being concerned about transfats -- it's the hip new concern among do-nothing councils these days -- but is a ban really necessary? Why not simply require a warning label? It's not like people eat Dick's fries because they imagine it as a serving of vegetables.

guest

For the life of me I can't understand the attraction with these limp, greasy potatoes passed off as French Fries. Those who think these are a "Seattle treasure" have to be snorting lutefisk lye.

In 'n Out also does fresh cut fries, but they are crisp and golden. Dicks can take a lesson!

guest

I couldn't agree more! Fries like Dick's are a disgrace. Also, beware of Sunis in Shoreline (178th & 15th).

guest

Carpetbagger! Go back to where you came from! The true Seattlites--e.g. Seattlest Seth--know what's what.

James Callan

Dick's fries are easily the weakest link in their menu. Burgers? Yum. Shakes? Yum. Fries? I'll have another cheeseburger instead.

But I don't see why changing the cooking oil means Dick's will start double-dipping their fries. Seems like a different issue entirely. Whether they fry 'em in canola oil, peanut oil, Crisco, lard, or Dapper Dan, if they only fry 'em once, they're going to disappoint.