Is It Time to Ban Bicycling at Night?
The Desertification of Seattle Has Begun
Elevator or Hellevator? Maybe Take the Stairs
Seattlest got a Sony Walkman for our 15th birthday, and bought our first couple of cassette tapes with saved allowance: Dire Straits’ Brothers in Arms and Eazy-E’s Eazy-Duz-It. As any self-respecting male teen would be, we were offended thrilled by the latter’s raw language and humor. So within a few weeks, we’d procured N.W.A.’s tape, Straight Outta Compton. That’s how we knew what we were hearing Sunday night when we were put on hold after calling Mad Pizza:
I'm tired of the mother fucking jackingSweating my gang while I'm chilling in the shacking
Shining the light in my face, and for what
Maybe it's because I kick so much butt
I kick ass, or maybe cause I blast
On a stupid assed nigga when I'm playing with the trigger
Of any Uzi or an AK—
“Holy shit,” we said, feeling that old deviant thrill. “N.W.A. is the hold music!” Our fiancée didn’t believe it. We put the phone to her ear.
Cause the police always got something stupid to sayThey put up my picture with silence
Cause my identity by itself causes violence
The E with the criminal behavior
Yeah, I'm a gangsta, but still I got flavor
Without a gun and a badge, what do ya got?
A sucker in a uniform waiting to get shot,
By me, or another nigga.
and with a gat it don't matter if he's smarter or bigger—
“N.W.A. is their hold music?” she asked, in disbelief. “They could get in trouble for that.”
Size don't mean shit, he's from the old school, foolAnd as you all know, E's here to rule
Whenever I'm rolling, keep looking in the mirror
And there's no cue, yo, so I can hear a
Dumb mother fucker with a gun
And if I'm rolling off the 8, he'll be the one
That I take out, and then get away
And while I'm driving off laughing
This is what I'll say—
Fuck the police … Fuck the police …
When the Mad Pizza dude picked up the line again we were conflicted—should we ask if he knew (or cared) what people on hold were hearing? Should we pretend to be offended and hang up? We stammered and, lacking the adventurous nature of our 15-year old self, just ordered a pizza.
What if we weren’t once a male teenager who knew NWA wasn’t just an airline? What if we were baby-boomer Dad, calling the pizza joint in preparation for a Father’s Day evening with the family? Or Dad’s Tipper Gore-like wife, arranging a church-sponsored youth group? Mad Pizza, we’re thinking, might have some ‘splaining to do.
Anyone ever been put on hold and made to listen to something this, well, inappropriate?
Lyrics to Fuck tha Police found here.
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They're just gangsta like that.
Personally, if I'm going to sit on hold I'd rather listen to something I can rock out to than elevator music. How many eight-year-olds are dialing up pizzas?
Well their Pizza is damn tasty. I am almost more likely to call them just to be put on hold and get some old school gangsta beats while I order my pie.
Yeah, I thought it was cool. Surprising, but cool. But I'm guessing a lot of people (a bit older, probably...or of the parenting persuasion) wouldn't have thought it was cool.
When I call my sister her ring back subjects me to really bad Christian Rock. I'm trying to decide if that is more or less offensive than NWA. I don't think Mad pizza was trying to win your soul while you waited for them to pick up.
I worked at an office once where every holiday season we would switch our hold music out to Non-Offensive Holiday Themed Musical Noise. One year we put Kenny G's Christmas album in, and we forgot to take it out for a whole year. It seems no one could tell the difference between his standard new-agey drivel and his holiday new-agey drivel.
Damn I would much rather listen to NWA while on hold than ANY Kenny-G. It is probably a generational thing.
I once called my mom at her job in a small-town realty. Their hold music was one of the local radio stations, which I eventually figured out was broadcasting a health segment.
Nothing like a detailed explanation of a proctology exam...
I would still prefer a a detailed explanation of a proctology exam over Kenny-G
So....
You think the song was inappropriate for hold music, but then you publish the lyrics that you found inappropriate.
Is this hypocritical? Is it ok for a blog, because the internet is all rad and edgy like that, but not ok for a pizza joint's hold music?
Now, yes, I recognize that the lyrics to the song are easily found on the Internets, not to mention far, far, FAR worse things that your average parent would find inappropriate (and I'm not one to throw stones at inappropriateness, what with my 'fuck work' bumper sticker, along with a plethora of others from unamerican.com), but, I do revel in pointing out inconsistencies like this.
Touche, John. I included the lyrics to demonstrate the point, which was hypocritical--but easier than typing *** through all those unsavories. Seattlest, though, does have an established tone and penchant for occassional curses, while a pizza joint--even a "mad" one--is almost by default a family establishment. This hold music, a very public facet of their business, seemed an odd choice. But a much better, more entertaining choice than Kenny G.
Isn't that ("fuck the police") considered a "classic?"
The sting has subsided, I think by now.
I agree with John too btw.
Let the free speech reign, it is the responsibility of everyone to explain to people (not only children) that while we as a society use foul language often. It might not be appropriate in all situations and therefore we should consider the context before using such language.
On a separate note: The offensiveness of this song depends greatly on whether or not you have been hassled by the police in the past. I doubt very much that the average person sends a "Thank you" card after getting a speeding ticket. If you are busy "busting a cap" or slinging dope I can imagine the frustration you'd feel being beaten by the only people in your neighborhood you really can't retaliate against, at least not effectively. Metaphorically, this is similar to the Alltel commercials featuring the 5 or 6 young skinny white guys going after the 1 Alltel guy, you know - lots of bark, relatively no bite. Not saying that "thugs" aren't "tough" cause I bet most of them could whoop my pansy ass, but they strategically are disadvantaged.
wow. shutting up now ;)