These things are a Menace, John

Sometimes we feel like we grew up on the road. Our parents would hit the road for a weekend or plan a road-trip vacation at the drop of a road atlas. We've spent a lot of time on a lot of great North American roads. We've logged thousands of family miles, thousands of solo miles, and thousands of companion miles. We've driven and/or owned hatchbacks, wagons, SUVs, and pick-ups -- stick and automatic. We're no experts in highway safety; however, we've seen enough things to give us plenty to think about, especially during those stimulating stretches of topographically-diverse Nebraska.

For the past few years, we've gotten to thinking about safety and the road just around every Memorial Day weekend. In simpler times, it used to be that we celebrated the sacrifices of our veterans through a paid holiday, lowering the flag to half-staff until Noon, barbeques, and drunken boating. These days, however, things are more complex for we live in troubling, uncertain, and dangerous times. In addition to its patriotic duties, Memorial Day serves as the "official" beginning of the summer driving and vacation season. Not coincidentally, it is also the time that the two greatest dangers to the American road traveler break their winter dormancy: the slide-in, pick-up bed camper and the fifth-wheel trailer on tiny wheels. Like parasites, they attach and attack "[hu]mans' best friend", the automobile.

John, they not only compromise our vehicles but they put us at risk too.

Let's review quickly. Fifth-wheel trailers attach to the truck inside the bed using a fifth-wheel hitch similar to that seen on heavy semis. These hitches have numerous advantages over trailers attaching at the back via a ball hitch, making their grasp on their host that much more tenacious. Aside from their deadly grip on a truck's behind, they are easy to spot in that they possess tiny wheels --and this is the key to their destructive power.

The first problem is the large amount of weight placed on such little tires. Furthermore, furnishing and outfitting the trailer adds more weight. Also, it seems that there are a lot of really crappy tires out there.

The other problem is that the infected tow vehicle, on relatively large tires, can drive insanely fast. The trailer's smaller tires, on the other hand, have to spin much faster to maintain that speed. Speed leads to heat; heat expands the air inside tires; tires blow up. We've seen plenty of colossal blow-outs at highway speeds ourselves. We've been several car-lengths behind when we have heard the pops, seen the shredded carcasses of tires, or tracked the trajectory of separated tread flying off onto the road. Contrast this with healthy semis who usually possess dual-wheels of the same size as their tow vehicle. When they lose a tire, the other one usually keeps the truck rolling to a safe stop. But when one of these single-wheels pops, the result is property damage to the host, traffic delays for the rest of us, and possibly much worse. We hate being anywhere near these things.

But more than that, we loathe the pick-up truck campers. The slide-in pick-up bed camper is not a camper shell (or truck cap), which is a perfectly noble organism that covers the pick-up's bed and keeps one's stuff protected from the elements. This is the difference between symbiont and parasite. The slide-in camper is a horrible structural tumor that slides into the bed and most frequently secures itself by a number of chains that reach down to hooks and beams under the truck's frame. We've noticed that the newer ones --the ones that aren't rusted, old, and with pieces of circa-1973 aluminum siding-- have been getting taller, wider, and longer. John, they are adapting to today's stronger trucks.

We love pick-ups, in fact they are our preferred class of vehicles. The last thing that we'd ever wish for them is crippled handling and safety. To begin with, slide-in campers raise a truck's center of gravity somewhere up into the mesosphere. Were that not bad enough, they're getting wider. For example, the growth (pictured at the top of this post) that we examined this weekend stretched comfortably at least a foot, on each side, beyond the truck's bed. Again, in healthy semis, the alert driver will notice that semi-trailers are about as wide as their track width (distance between left and right tires). With the truck above, picturing it from behind yields an inverted trapezoid of deadly weight ready to crush you.

Finally, in addition to the aforementioned safety feature of dual-wheels, the other feature of duals is increased stability against rolling. This is why truck camper attached to a single-wheeled host are all the more dangerous. It's like Andre the Giant on a unicycle... on a tightrope: unsafe at any speed. We can't wait but cautiously overtake one on the road and put it's bloated, top-heavy danger behind us.

Listen, Steinbeck, a lot has changed since 1960. Why do we insist on dressing up and rolling out Jed Clampett technology onto our roadways? When William Least Heat-Moon made his epic journey, he had the sensibility to drive a van and improvise to meet his needs. Our need to bring everything-including-the-kitchen-sink, while endangering other drivers, in order to enjoy our RV Freedom will surely lead us down the path to ruin and topple us from the mantle of the Greatest Nation Ever.

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Tom in News on May 31, 2007 9:24 AM

Comments [rss]

greenlex4

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順

This was an interesting read, especially because of the controversy behind it in the comments. Thanks for sharing. http://www.sawyersbussales.com

Troy Morris

Yes. I enjoy swearing on certain days. That was one of those days.

What got me all riled up were the blanket comments such as:

"I bet you are anti-gun also. Blame the gun and not the person that points and pulls the trigger."

and

"This guy's definately a liberal,,,,they hate everything!!"

I referenced Idaho simply because all the comments seemed to hit in a row. It's also because I was recently reading a blog from a friend in Idaho who had to go shovel some snow.

I had a problem with people coming to a post a year later and making rash generalizations about the author and the purpose of the post who obviously did not spend a great deal of time understanding the outlet.

Finally, PlasticBoater, while your comment may have been tongue-in-cheek, you should know that I make the worst cups of coffee.

Steve_in_29

Seems to me people in Seattle need to spend more time outdoors actually DOING things instead of indoors whining about what others are doing.

LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET OUT OF THE WAY!

SEMPER FI!

Plasticboater

As a fan of John Steinbeck (and good writing in general) I just don't see that this article makes much sense. If this letter to Steinbeck decries that modern RVers overload their rigs, then a quick read of Steinbeck's "Travels with Charley" would show author Tom that Steinbeck's camper exceeded the weight capacity of the tires on his GMC pickup, causing a blow out. Steinbeck was very glad to find the correct tires to carry the load, and went happily on his way. Overall, Steinbeck seemed very satisfied with his trip and his rig.

If John Steinbeck had planned his trip today; some of the links that author Tom posted in his article would have been very helpful to Steinbeck. The RV.net forums provide a lot of information to RVers and potential RVers. I lurked on that forum for a year gathering information on how to outfit the truck that

I had already purchased to carry a camper that I bought later.

Looking at author Tom's writing style; I can't help but wonder if, a la the Dude "it's the Royal 'we'" or if Tom has a mouse in his pocket (Troy, that comment is intended as 'tongue-in-cheek'.)

I have read some of Tom's other articles, and those, like this one seem quite derogatory.

As for Steinbeck's reaction to the letter, I think he'd be put off by all of the whining. Plus, I think he'd tell Troy to grow up, put on a clean Starbucks apron, and get him a real cup of coffee (Troy, that was tongue-in-cheek, too.)

Brian in Boise

Wow, we resorted to swearing and insults.

OK, so I don't know that the Seattlest is The Onion of the Emerald City, sorry.

You also have my deepest apologies for not majoring in American literature which would allow me to instantly recognize an off-beat article written to a guy who died 40 years ago.

I did, however show the author enough respect to provide information intended to change his beliefs, regardless of my understanding of the original article. I did not simply rant against his ignorance and insult him and his city with vulgarity and narrow-minded viewpoints.

If you want to educate me on the source and intent of the article that's fine. Please do so by using your wit and education.

beddows1

I'm past president of the north American truck camper Owners association (NATCOA). I have heard of far more rollovers with travel trailer's than truck campers. the center of gravity is actually quite low in them. TC's are designed to go off road and are therefore subject to areas where they could tip rather more easily, so since that does not appear to happen that much, what is the big deal?

Troy Morris

I can't stop being pissed off by the last series of comments.

Folks from not here and a year late, listen: the post is framed as a fucking open letter to John Steinbeck. For Christ's sake, do you know who Steinbeck is? Do you not recognize the tongue-and-cheek flavor of this entire post?yeah, I'm sure Tom really doesn't feel that these trailers are 100% safe, but he's not writing a scathing investigative report. It's probably something he believes, but is far from trying to change the world. It's just something that he had been thinking about for a while before writing the article.

Follow the links. That's all the evidence that is needed when writing in a blog like this.

Troy Morris

Wow. Over a year later and people start posting and claiming that there are no facts.

People. It's the Seattlest. It's not a fucking credible news source. It's a place for those in and around Seattle to stay moderately informed. These people who write are not journalists. They simple write opinion pieces and filter larger news stories for an even larger public.

Get a fucking clue and go back to Idaho and shovel the snow out of your drive way.

Brian in Boise

Wow, this is obviously an opinion piece because there don't seem to be any facts involved. As an experienced RVer and the owner of a truck camper, I can tell you that the author's statements are based on assumption rather than experience or any real knowledge of the topic.

FIFTH WHEELS: Despite the author's belief that these are disasters waiting to happen, they are actually the safest method one can use to tow another vehicle. Even the "healthy semis" use this method. They have less sway than travel trailers and are carried directly over the axle of the tow vehicle allowing it to carry a good share of the load. The argument here seems to be against the tires. Here's the deal:
<ul>

<li>The tires on a fiver are larger than the tires you will find on almost every compact car on the road. You would be hard-pressed to find one of these RVs with anything less than a 16" rim.

</li><li>If you were to check the information printed on the side of the tire, you would see that they are rated to carry far more weight than they are actually carrying.

</li><li>Other than very small or very old 5th wheels, you won't see one that doesn't have a tandem axle. (That means there are two axles in case you didn't know.) This allows a driver to pull safely over to the side of the road if there is a blowout, just like the beloved semi.

</li><li>Just like the tires on any vehicle, they must be kept properly inflated to avoid blowouts. Attempting to categorize them as dangerous because chunks of tire go flying everywhere is ludicrous. Semi tires fly just as far and are likely more dangerous since they are larger tires and have no wheel well to contain the debris.

</li></ul>

TRUCK CAMPERS: In all my travels and in all my experience, I have yet to see a truck camper on its side. I'm sure it has happened, but I haven't seen it. I have driven in the extremely high winds of the Idaho desert and California's Hwy 395 and my vehicle has never spontaneously flipped over or veered out of control.<ul>

<li>I can't argue with the fact that the truck's center of gravity is raised when the camper is loaded. Manufacturers do, however design the camper with water, generators, waste tanks, propane tanks, batteries and appliances all as low as possible. The bulk of the weight is situated below the cab height of the truck. The only thing high up is a big open box. It's a little more like Andre the Giant on stable ground on a mountain bike wearing a really big hat.

</li><li>The width of the camper is really irrelevant. Mirrors allow drivers to see clearly and in the case of a dual-rear wheeled vehicle, the camper reaches to the outside of the outer wheel and no further. There is certainly more stability in a DRW vehicle than a single-wheeled truck, but the ability to handle the weight is the key issue and the tires, suspension, braking, and electrical systems are all designed to support the load.</li><li>To answer the question of why these hillbilly rigs are still on the road, you simply need to look at the maneuverability and the ability to tow while carrying the camper.

</li><li>The article never mentions the fact that truck campers are the most compact and lightweight RV out there other than tent trailers. Even that could be debated.

</li></ul>

When William Least Heat-Moon ventured out, I doubt he payed as much attention to the limits of his vehicle as most RVers do. The truth is that there are far more vans, SUVs and passenger vehicles on the road which are overloaded. Do I have numbers? No, but look at the door plate of any vehicle and pay attention to the GVWR. This is the maximum weight that a vehicle is designed to carry. After you have that number, go weigh a minivan or Suburban loaded with kids, gas, and fuel for a weekend in the mountains.

I'll bet you a half-worn set of really crappy tires that they are overloaded.

trapperdick

This guy's definately a liberal,,,,they hate everything!!

Jumbojet1949

Where are the facts? Verifiable statistics? Your BS "Sky is falling" doesn't cut it with me.

If we banned everything that is potentially dangerous, you better park your bicycle!

Anything driven by a responsible experienced operator is safe enough according to YOUR State and my State.

I bet you are anti-gun also. Blame the gun and not the person that points and pulls the trigger.

Look out! There is danger in front, behind, above, below, to the right, the left. Oh my! What should we do? Dig a hole. Crawl in it. Pull the cover over your head. Don't let us hear from you again. You are scaring the kids!

negsam

To put it mildly, I found this essay very odd. I cannot believe the author had any experience with truck campers before writing it. I've had one for longer than I can remember and have found that, as is the case with all other products, there are best practices that make a truck or slide-in camper as safe as an ordinary SUV. Why would anyone believe that most truck camper users would be willing to jeopardize their lives or those of other motorists? It's presumptuous to think so. Experienced truck campers know enough to buy a camper whose weight does not not exceed the gross vehicle weight restrictions of their truck. I know there are some who ignore this precaution, but the same can be said of any group you can think of — there are safety conscious gun owners and there are fools, for example.

Tom

Hello Stina,

My issue with fifth-wheel campers is not the hitching mechanism. I agree with you that it is probably the safest of the hitches. And the fact that it puts the weight of the trailer over the rear wheels is a great feature. My issue with these trailers is the relatively tiny wheels they ride on, as well as the lack of dual wheels. I've seen far more than my fair share of those things blowing out.

And, no, I've no connection to the hotel industry. I'm just a concerned driver and traveller.

Stina

I live in the Seattle,WA area and am appalled at this person's comments. We have a 5th wheel trailer but by no means is the connection from the trailer to the truck insecure. We have found this connection to the safest connection that has ever been devised. I can not relate to a camper on a truck, as we have never had one,but we have friends who do and they are happy and secure with theirs.

This person must work for the hotel/motel chains. Little do they realize that our rigs are not cheap so why would we jeapardize our lives and lives of others if we did not feel they were safe.

If a RVer follows the instructions and double checks the connections to the vehicle, then everyone is safe.

All I can say, is I am sorry that one of our Seattleites feels the way they do, but that is not all of us. To each his own!