Subject: Get out of the obese crowd

Subject: Can you imagine that you are healthy?

Although the dailies almost convinced us that spam as we know it has ended because Robert Alan Soloway was arrested yesterday, our inbox says otherwise.

Subject: Orgasmotron

It would seem that the zombie computers that Soloway has spamming away are still hard at work during his incarceration.

Subject: So you asked for another message from Ms. Atkins, yeah?

Or else he isn't solely responsible for the ruin that is Seattlest's inbox.

Subject: Penis Launcher

Don't get us wrong--we're doing a little dance here along with the geeks while we delete the day's spam . Soloway seems like quite an asshole--really a sociopath. He's referred to himself in the past as "judgement-proof" because of the trust fund that he claims supports him.

Subject: 1 Viagra soft pill for $1.62

Looks like we'll find out if he is Grand Jury-proof.

Subject: Don't be inadequate anymore

Most of the charges seem to stem from him defrauding the companies that were paying him to deliver said spam.

Subject: Do you feel insecure about your penis size?

It's difficult to muster a lot of sympathy for the poor defrauded little spam initiators, though. It's 2007--everybody should know what, exactly, an email marketing campaign is.

Subject: Getting thinner can be enjoyable

Soloway faces 65 years in prison for money laundering, wire fraud, mail fraud, and identity theft.

Subject: Dan, this is your mother. Why aren't you returning my calls??