Jordin Wins, Blake Feels Great
By now, it's probably not news to you. If you've so much as walked past any place that is selling newspapers, you're unlikely to have missed the giant front-page-sized announcement that Jordin Sparks is the new American Idol.
For all our Blake-loving, by the time the show came on last night, we were prepared for our hometown boy to lose the whole thing. Nonetheless, we sat through two hours of Idol filler for you, dear readers, and we're going to recount them here, in brief.
Things that rocked about the final show of the season: Kelly Clarkson was on twice! Gladys Knight was there to perform with the top six girls. She had a particularly inspired exchange with Melinda and LaKisha, who just kept looking at her like, "Holy crap! I'm singing with Gladys Knight!" Carrie Underwood showed off her legs. Greenday showed off their inspired performance (which, somehow, raised money for Darfur???) of John Lennon's brilliant "Working Class Hero."
In fact, it was somehow Beatles Night. There was a tribute to Sergeant Pepper--perhaps inspired by Randy's wardrobe choice Tuesday night?--wherein all the former Idols, sans Fantasia, performed tunes from the album. This was only good for Kelly, Ruben, and Carrie. Taylor Hicks creeped us out with his misguided falsetto. Jordin and Blake did "I Saw Her Standing There," which was cute and sweet. Melinda kicked it on some BeBe and CeCe Wynans song, with the Wynans, and we were kind of happy to see her kicking ass with or wihtout the Idol crown.
This happened:
And finally, Paula and Randy acted like birds in the audience as Bette Midler performed "Wind Beneath My Wings." Priceless.
Things we fast-forwarded through: The excessively long top-six-men's performance with Smokey Robinson. If it had just been Chris, Sligh, and Blake, we probably wouldn't have fast-forwarded through it. Thanks to Phil and Sanjaya, we just couldn't take it anymore. We fast-forwarded through Gwen Stefani. Sorry.
Then the results came. Blake kissed Jordin's hand. Jordin stood there in the most fabulous dress ever made for a six-foot-tall woman. The other 10 contestants sat on the front steps, touching each other in darling, heart-warming ways, wearing matching outfits, and looking all full of anticipation. And then Seacrest announced Jordin's win. Paula had an emotional breakdown when Sparks sang that awful song. Some woman went down the row hugging Jordin's people. Her big atheletic father burst into tears, and we sobbed along with it all. Blake, however, beamed like someone had finally given him a drum set, and, according to the Seattle Times, he was "unfazed."
Not like it matters. He'll be a huge star. But first, he's gotta squash the competition from this guy:
