Because We Don't Give a Damn About Apolo

We kind of gave a damn about that guy who was lost "running" on Cougar Mountain, but Dan really said all there is to say about that. Clearly Seth gives a damn about sports (even if some people don't) and Kim has her pleading to do about sweet little Blake. So when the Seattlest editorial board asked Why Oh Why isn't anyone writing about some local skater dude torturing the world with the horrors of bad disco and white-bred latin-style "dancing" that was our answer: because we could not care less.

In fact, even Wm. Steven Humphrey over at the Stranger won't even waste ink or the internet tubes on whether our local speedster should win tonight. Shit, he does have something to say. How the hell would we know or care, we've never watched the show? Just the previews give us migraines. Should Apolo win? Sure, because then it would be over. We are only writing this now because Dan scooped us on AWOL runner guy. Now you kids get off our lawn.