Don’t you hate when you’re out by the lake sitting on a dock with your best buds, sipping on some mass produced brew, just laughing and having a caucasianly good time, when someone pulls out a guitar and starts strumming until a song breaks out—evening ruined.

Well to make matters worse it would appear that not only is that douche an attention hog he (FACT: It’s always a dude) is also an environmental outlaw.

Today the Times has the first in a one part series on the increasing crime of maple tree cutting downing.

All around Western Washington, from backyards to fragile stream banks, grand old big-leaf maples are being felled and dismembered to feed a black market born of an insatiable demand for the hardwood and its eye-catching whorls and ripples.

There's a new state law specifically aimed at punishing maple thieves. But the law has enraged legitimate woodworkers who fear being wrongly ensnared, while the illicit cutters continue, hidden in the remote woods, able to dodge a tiny law-enforcement effort and fueled by the hunger for quick cash.

So not only are laws being broken, the environment and weekends being destroyed, but some poor woodworker has to take time out from carving himself a son to get a second job in order to cover legal fees because some New Age frat boy wants to recreate the magic of Dave Matthews. Stop the world I wanna get off.