Lame! Lame! Lame! Blake! Everyone! Lame!

American Idol is down to the final four, in case you've been living at the Earth's core, or on some exploding star for the past couple of months (how awesome is that star story!). Anyhow, so we've been excited since last Wednesday to see what four of the best contestants to grace the Idol stage since Clarkson and Guarini, had to show for themselves.

It was Barry Gibb week, and Gibb kinda creeped us out, not that that's anything new. Bless his heart, though, he's written some incredible songs: "More Than a Woman," "Staying Alive," "How Deep is Your Love," "Grease." Unfortunately, not a one of the good songs came out last night. WTF? Even our darling, sweet, always-a-star Melinda bored us. Double-up WTF whatthefuh?

Jordin--the only one to shine through even her boring, lame, dumb, etc., song choices--even decided to do one of those atrocious Barbra Streisand/Gibb numbers. Granted, she wasn't alive for the whole embarassment that was the Streisand/Gibb record, but still. Someone should've clued her in. Or maybe one of the contestants told her it would be a good idea, hoping to sabotage her natural in-born stardom. Still, even with that mistake, she would've won the whole thing if last night were the finals. Sorry MindyDoo. It was worse than lounge song night for you.

Meanwhile, absent his Timberfake BFF sidekick, Bothell's own Blake Lewis lacked soul and inspiration. Randy Jackson even scolded him for beatboxing to both his song choices. Considering it's one of Lewis' main talents, that was a little Ouch! Nonetheless, he's a pretty, pretty man, and that'll probably be enough to keep him safe for at least one more week. We still think it's better if he doesn't win it all. We can't fathom Blakeypoo singing crappy songs about rainbows and flying without wings.

It's Lakisha Jones who will likely exit this week. Dammit. We've been all over the map on KiKi this season. Honestly, she was our early choice to take it all, until we opened our eyes and saw Melinda. KiKi would be a fabulous addition to the Idol narrative. A professional bank teller/single mom, her only experience on the stage is with her church choir. During all the behind-the-scenes footage, she's shown herself to be a studious contestant, determined to get to the top, despite the fact that she's wound up surrounded by consummate pros and one hot, amazon, diva-ish teen queen. Nonetheless, she just hasn't been consistent. Everyone else on that stage last night has delivered enough to be safe. KiKi just has not. She'll still have a killer career, and her baby won't want for nothing, fo sho.

Bottom line: it was a bad night all around. If you skipped it, you missed nothing.