Shake 'n' Blake Shuts It Dooooown!

Holy crap, our hearts are pounding so hard, nervous that our beloved adopted Seattleite Jordin Sparks is about to get kicked off American Idol. Just when we thought she'd take it all. Damn you, Phil "Blaze of Glory" Stacey, for being born to lead a Bon Jovi cover band. Damn you, Lakisha Jones, for finding the one soul song Jon Bon ever wrote. We don't even need to mention Melinda "The Winner" Doolittle, since she's clearly going to take the whole damn competition, even if she has to do it by singing some stupid Bon Jovi song.

We voted four times for Sparks last night, and we hope that's just enough to push her over the edge. Or that people are creeped out enough by Phil Stacey at this point that they don't care he blew it "out of the box," as Randy Jackson would say. Dammit. As if it's news to anyone, we're just figuring out we're invested in this stupid television show. And we haven't even gotten to how Blake Lewis blew our minds last night.

Not only did Blakey rip apart a Bon Jovi classic--"You Give Love a Bad Name"--and not only did he do it dueling-beatbox style, him vs. a drummer; but he did it with black hair. WTF?

Seriously, the real slim shady is back in the building, y'all, cuz Lewis showed what he's got. He went into his consultation with Jon Bon Jovi--Jon Bon Jovi, okay--with, like, ten pages of sheet music. Jon Bon was all, "Oh crap, this Lewis kid has some cajones to be changing my most brilliant, classic masterpiece," and then he was all, "but, shoot, he's got what it takes." Blake flashed his pretty, pretty teeth and made some snarky comment about the whole thing, and then he took to the stage and made that song good again. Damn!

It wasn't enough to shut down our precious MindyDoo, but with Jordin slipping (since the theme of this year's Idol is hair, what was with J-Sparks' Chaka Kahn do?) it could've been enough to put Blake in the top two.

And, as if the night wasn't already the best ever Idol showdown, Seacrest kept standing next to Ginabear in the audience, just to rub it in that she so woulda kicked even Blake Lewis' cute butt during last night's "rock" show. It'll be interesting to see who goes home (two tonight!), but we'd put $50 on Chris Richardson being half of this week's rejected.