It was bound to happen, but my God, we thought Chris and Phil would go first.

Seacrest was all crafty with the elimination round last night. He split the contestants into groups of three. On the left you had Chris, Jordin, and Phil. On the right, Sanjaya, Lakisha, and Blake. Melinda was left standing alone, so Seacrest told her to choose which group she thought she would be in (read: which is the group where the winner belongs).

Jordin was sweating bullets. "Holy shit," her face said. "I'm in the bottom three." Blake and Lakisha looked comfortable, even though they were standing next to Sanjaya. Melinda decided to stage a one-woman sit-in. She just parked it in the middle of the stage, refusing to make the decision of who sucks more: Sanjaya or Phil. The crowd (and Simon) ate it up, as if they could fall in love with her even more.

Fair enough. Seacrest sent her to stand with Jordin, Phil, and Chris. That group was safe, which meant that not one but TWO local heroes were in the bottom three this week. What the eff? Lakisha "Diva" Jones? What the damn is going on?

Then it hit us: the time had come. Sanjaya knew it. Blake and Lakisha knew there was no way America was rejecting them so soon. But first, we all had to sit through a completely awkward performance of musical chairs and some country song by the contestants' choir, as well as a performance by guest star Martina McBride, which we fast forwarded through (thank you, TiVo).

Finally, to use a phrase from a country music song, came the "day of reckoning." Sanjaya was cut. Bye-bye-ya. With tears in his eyes, he gave an absolutely un-touching re-performance of Bonnie Raitt's "Something to Talk About," which was never really a country song to begin with. In what has become a typical entertainingly cocky manner, he replaced the words from the chorus with, "Let's give 'em something to talk about other than hair."

The camera panned to the numerous signs little girls held professing their undying love and affection, and one particularly witty sign that said, "Look at My Sign-jaya."

And so it was. And it was good. Now that poor girl can eat.

We're a little disappointed there will be no Sanjaya for Barry Gibb week, and that, instead, we'll have to sit through a creepy Phil Stacey version of "More Than a Woman," but oh well. For all our snarky comments, we admired Jaya's spunk and nerve. He'll have a hell of a career someday. Probably in musical theater.