Microsoft Billionaire Exiled to Space
Charles Simonyi, the man who gave us Microsoft Word, has been sent into space by the Russian government as punishment for the development of "smart quotes."
Neither his billion-dollar fortune, his ownership of the world's 33rd-largest yacht, or his relationship with Martha Stewart could prevent his just and fair ostracism from the society that he's tortured by autoformatting every other damn thing we type and filling half of our screen with useless toolbars.
Simonyi and Stewart "enjoyed" some vapid, forced banter this morning after he landed at the International Space Jail:
"How did the launch look?" Simonyi asked spectators at Mission Control.Wow. If that's what passes for conversation at a Martha Stewart dinner party, we'll just stay home and order Chinese, thanks all the same."The launch was beautiful, Charles," Stewart told Simonyi. "I just want to say that we are happy for the safe and beautiful trip and I want you to know that we all think that you are a true pioneer.
"And guess what, Charles? You are now truly out of this world," she said.
While he's imprisoned, Simonyi's Soviet overseers, who have some experience with forced labor, are requiring him to blog.
