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Example number fourteen of Seattle's trend towards blandness, homogeneity and steady corporate march (wingtipped jackboots) towards complete and total cultural entropy comes today via sporting goods retailer G.I. Joes, or, as they are currently rebranding themselves, "Joes." Mother fucking "Joes?" God dammit. Seattlest loved G.I. Joes. Its mix of urban trail gear and skiing equipment alongside camping, hunting, fishing and outdoor work gear gave us hope that Red and Blue might one day get along. At least it acknowledged that we all occupy the same outdoors. Don't get us wrong, we love REI, but normal people's idea of a weekend getaway doesn't involve $60,000 summits in Asia. G.I. Joes was an outdoor outfitter for normal people. It started as a military surplus store way back whenever, thus the name, but today "Uh, excuse me, where are your bayonets?" is going to get you nothing but a blank stare from staff. Maybe a wave over towards the knives, if you're lucky. It was funny that the place was named G.I. Joes and there wasn't a whiff of military gear. The name didn't make it obvious that it sold outdoor equipment, but you figure it out eventually. "Joe's" sounds like a fucking diner. "G.I.'s" would have been better, even.
It's not just the name change. We wish it was just the name change, because, then, who cares; it's "Joe's" now. Whatever. It seems like the kind of name change that heralds a drastic stocking change away from Carhart and towards little yoga pants, though, and doesn't Seattle need another fru-fru boutique for little yoga pants? A place where students of Bikram and Sivananda can mingle with each other and figure out that, yes, each is as annoying and foreign as the other supposed? That will be "Joe's."
Go buy Clark Humphrey's picture book Vanishing Seattle if you haven't already. The rate of turnover on long-standing local institutions is such that Volume 2 should be in production now. Actually, Joes isn't even a Seattle chain. They're from Oregon somewhere. Screw em.
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Joes, G.I. or otherwise, sucks. It is a prime example of a store that tries to do everything and ends up doing it all poorly. For instance, if you would like a staff member to help you with running shoes, you might as well go to Walmart for the level of attention and knowledge. So, in short, my hope can only be that the chain will burn to the ground when it changes its name.
Oh, as for the rest of things that change, that is what things do. Change.
There's Surplus Too on 1st and Lander in SoDo. Also, Nate's in Georgetown--if you don't mind the wall 'o firearms.
It was bought by some private equity firm in San Fran. With all the anti-government/anti-military sentiment down there, dropping the "G.I." is hardly surprising. How long before they stop selling guns and stock nothing but spandex, trail mix, and tampons?