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Donuts for All!

As usual, Seattlest has donuts on our mind. Since we are compelled to endure that barbaric time of day known in some parts of the world as morning, we can't help but have our thoughts wander toward more pleasant morning-related topics. It's not just us, however; our colleague-ists have been thinking about them too.

Last week, Chicagoist wrote of a devious, healthy plot on the part of Krispy Kreme. Rightfully, they retorted with a hearty, Midwestern "Bollocks!" to the misguided idea. Previous to this, that plucky Bostonist uncovered that Dunkin' Donuts will be setting up shop in Taiwan. "Just eff-ing great", was our first thought.

Before moving here, we lived for a time in Bostonist's bailiwick. And we grew up in Chicagoist's quadrant of the Istaverse. We furnish this evidence in order to establish, Senator, that we know donuts. We've worked with donuts. Donuts are friends of ours. We know that what classic rock is to the construction industry, semi-industrial donuts are to office automatons in the gritty, dirty cities east of the Mississippi. The former simply cannot function without the latter.

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So when we moved here, we missed having a Dunkin' Donuts on every block, for in the above-mentioned towns they are as plentiful as Thai and Teryaki joints are in Seattle. We quickly resigned ourselves to the notion that Seattle just isn't much of a donut town. Rather, we are much more of a scone town, a place of effete pastries. Seattlest loves all manner of crumbly, buttery, and uppity pastries and we love stumbling upon little places that sell great pastries. Sometimes, however, we just want a god-damned donut. We want to walk into a place that smells of used partially-hydrogenated oil. It has old men installed in the corner talking about The War --dubya dubya two... the Big One-- while wearing their adorable VFW hats. Finally, the parking lot is filled with off-duty taxis as their drivers take a coffee break inside.

This is not to say, of course, that there is a donut drought here. We love Top Pot and we'd happily kill a man in Reno just to steal his maple bar. But the fundamental problem is that between our palatial estate in the U-District and our soul-stealing place of work in Fremont, for example, there are exactly zero Top Pot locations. Also, we've heard of this Mighty-O phenomenon. We gave them a chance. We tried to like them. We really wanted to believe. Unfortunately, and we are sorry if we offend those with more conscientious dining sensibilities, the phrases "dairy-free donuts" and "vegan pastries" still make us think "mmmm... pressed cardboard pulp... yummmm." Put succintly and more constructively, the taste is OK, but the texture is all wrong.

And then there is Krispy Kreme. Krispy Kreme doesn't count; they are a novelty snack, their latest gimmick notwithstanding. We could certainly spend hours just looking at KK's donut assembly line. In fact, we very likely have. That's precisely Krispy Kreme's niche. From their repro-retro look down to the profuse festooning and the truckload of sugar, they are a novelty. Thus, whereas Krispy Kreme is an excellent dessert donut, a Dunkin' Donut is a meal. Dunkin' Donuts even serves breakfast sandwiches but we find that that is overkill; a Dunkin' Donut and a coffee is a perfectly acceptable breakfast. And that's the crux of the matter: Krispy Kreme are evening donuts or, at best, afternoon donuts. They are not breakfast donuts. Morning and breakfast are melancholy times and Dunkin' Donuts' relatively subtle color palette is more in tune to the soul-crushing nature of the impending work day.

Seattle's somewhat dire donut situation underscores one basic fact: we are OK on the specialty and novelty donuts. What is needed, then, is a source of industrial donuts produced en-masse. There's room for both in this town, we posit. We'd like to see more places like that seedy 24-hour Winchell's on 45th in Wallingford --places that frighten us, make us question our judgment, put our mortality in the hands of Fate, and provide us delicious, greasy donuts of dubious provenance. Friends, forget the Viaduct, sustainable development, and intelligent transit options. Donuts For All is the real dream.

But why should Seattle settle for the East's dirty donuts? Our provincial pride would seem to dictate that we rebuke an invasion a la Dunkin' Donuts's clever assault on Taiwan. Besides, like it or not, this is Starbuck's home and we are just not sure that Dunkin' Donuts has the wherewithal to take the epic struggle into Starbuck's front yard. We kinda wish they would considering that, after a few years of laying siege, Starbuck's eventually crossed over into Boston-proper some time ago. We suppose that Dunkin' Donuts would need to grow a larger pair of Boston Cremes first.

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On the other hand, we have a far better suitor in mind for Seattle. Our disposition is not that of the gritty East Coast. We need a more civilized and enlightened toroid. We propose, then, a concerted effort to lure those plucky Canadians. After all, between our attitudes on gay marriage and pot, our values are much more aligned with our Neighbours to the Nourth. Also, Wendy's already bedded Tim and, thus, he has visa status in some states already. Let's consummate this relationship in Washington state already!

Some time ago, we sent an urgent plea, in which we pledged our support, to Tim Horton's. We got some responses but figured that our non-metric supplications eventually fell through the cracks of Tim's metric bureaucracy. Therefore, if anybody possessing fluency in Canadian would like to write in, the address is customer_service@timhortons.com.

Michael Vale photograph: Gail Oskin, AP
Tim Horton's distribution map courtesy of Wikipedia

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

Comments [rss]

  • erin

    Oh, my--it's out of your way, but some rainy Saturday you're going to find yourself going to, I dunno, Home Depot on Aurora, and then you'll stop at Family Donut Shop on Northgate Way, and you're going to be very happy. Great donuts, great apple fritters, and if it were a smidge bigger you'd have your VFW hats, no question.

  • Rose

    If I remember correctly, the cafe in the University Bookstore sells Top Pot. Now that I think about it, they may have switched to Mighty-O as all the coffee carts on campus have Mighty-O. Hmmm...

    Down in Monterey, Starborg sells Top Pot. I had heard the rumor that they were selling them in the Bay Area, and just about cried when I saw that it was true. My store offered old-fashioned, chocolate old-fashioned, & apple fritters - doughnuts with textures that travel well. The best part? My old-fashioned was soft and full of goodness, even the next day.

  • sophie

    I want to apologize for my gaffe before anyone notices and declares is publicly. The sign on Rainier is Westernco not Dunkin' Donuts. A prime example that illustrates my own ambivalence towards donuts.

    I do admit that I adore scones.

  • Jerry Jarvis

    give me sticky buns any day with hot cocoa

  • Carl

    Well, maybe the general indifference to donuts here (vs other parts of the country) is part of the reason Seattle isn't quite as appallingly obese as other parts of the country.

    I live almost right on top of Top Pot on Capitol Hill (no joke: in the summer I sometimes have to close my windows when the breeze is blowing in the smell of cooking donuts all night) and I've definitely had fewer than a dozen donuts from them, total, since they opened in 2002. But the coffee is good.

  • sophie

    For pure nostalgia you can always head down to Rainier and MLK and gaze at our old Dunkin' Donuts sign. Still standing. Although the building is a check cashing place//laundromat. Classic.

    Now I feel privileged to commute through Belltown everyday.

  • Jon

    There used to be a Dunkin' Donuts down in Renton that my mother would always take me to when I was a child. It's no longer a Dunkin' Donuts. The place is now Mrs. Johnson's Donuts, and it doubles as a sub sandwich shop, as well.

    The donuts themselves are pretty good. I'm no expert on them, but I had an eclair and a Boston creme donut today, which seems to have been the high point of the day. They were just greasy and chocolatey enough to make me a happy guy.

    Goddamn, I want more donuts now.

  • Kza

    "...the phrases "dairy-free donuts" and "vegan pastries" still make us think "mmmm... pressed cardboard pulp... yummmm."

    At least you're willing to admit that your dislike of Mighty-O is a mental problem.

  • Krispy Kreme is exactly the kind of doughnut I just don't care for -- all gloss and sugar. I've had them at their fresh peak, and I can understand the attraction if that's what you're into, but I just find them kind of nauseating.

    Mighty-O, IMHO, managed the impressive feat of making a vegan cinnamon-sugar cake doughnut taste about as good as a non-vegan cskd from Safeway. Kudos.

    I love Top Pot. Among the many things I love about them: one doughnut is plenty. It's substantial, it's got heft and flavor and sugar and grease, and if you eat two (or god help you, three), you've overdone it. One is filling. Which means you must choose your one carefully.

    (Cinnamon sugar old-fashioned.)

  • Re: sbux and top-pot: my girlfriend worked for sbux for a few years as a barista and told me that top pot actually supplies nearly all seattle-area sbux with donuts as part of some kind of pilot. i hear you can get them in the bay area, but they're stale. they're in seatac airport's sbux as well if I remember correctly.

    And I kinda take issue with this line:

    Krispy Kreme are evening donuts or, at best, afternoon donuts. They are not breakfast donuts.
    KK's are TOTALLY a breakfast donut. For a few years I lived in central Virginia (KK Kountry) and ther was NOTHING better than splitting a dozen KK donuts with your friends (particularly when they were hot off the line). The sugar would still be semi-molten and it would literally melt in your mouth. Very, very sweet. But really tasty.

    Also, incidently, KKreme donuts have been known to venture into meal territory in totally unhealthy ways

  • Carmen

    After living in on the East Coast for seven years--specifically DC and Philly--returning home last year to a Dunkin'-less Seattle was a bit startling. As it happens, today I checked a favorite Philly blog and it had a post about a re-opening of a local DD. Just google "new Dunkin Donuts Philadelphia" and you'll get a link to the PRNewswire blurb for a possible wave of the future for all DDs (I promise that I'm not a DD flunkie). Maybe they could make it again in the PNW?

    P.S. If you happen to be on the Eastside, the Starbucks in Kirkland on NE 124th St. in the Totem Lake area carries Top Pot donuts.

  • There *were* Dunkin Donuts' here, at least in the metro area, when I moved here in 2002. Kent, Federal Way, Midway to name a few. They were not entirely up to snuff (they made the egg sandwiches wrong and they didn't put cream/sugar in the coffee for you and had no idea what a "medium regulah/r" was), but the coffee, decor and donuts were right.

    By the end of 2002 DD pulled out and the franchises were left to rebrand. Most of them have barely renamed themselves -- simply changing the word "Dunkin'" and leaving the rest of the sign up. Now we have Cafe N' Donuts in Kent and Midway Donuts in Midway (which now also sells Gyros and Philly steaks). The one in Federal Way became Crispy Donuts (don't ask) before turning into a third-rate cellphone store. They kept the Dunkin' style donuts, though DD coffee was replaced by Tully's.

    Donuts simply aren't everyday things in Seattle. People consider a run to Issaquah, or the chance appearance of a cub scout fundrasiser, for Krispys to be a treat, and Top Pots are a rich gourmet curiosity.

    Seems like every place else in the U.S. has Dunk's (I went to one in Phoenix a few years back). Cities in foreign countries have Dunk's (I saw one in Chile on TAR last night).

    I remember when GWB joked that Massachusetts was a foreign country. He clearly never came to the PNW.

  • Matt the Engineer

    Strange. I consider myself a donut connnosuir, and I disagree with much of what I've read here.

    First, Top Pot, no matter how much wonderful word-of-mouth I hear, just produces average donuts. Average donuts with interesting names, and don't get me wrong - it's no KK or anything else of sub-donut quality, but still nothing I'd go out of my way for.

    Now, the best donuts I've ever tasted? Ever - even considering I grew up in a household that considered "donut day" to be a standard day of the week, and have a father that would go to great lenghs to make sure the day was appropriately celebrated? Mighty-O. Those things are like pieces of fried heaven.

  • Seattlest Tom

    Eric, thanks for pointing out my egregious ommission WRT Munchkins. This is why my Tim Horton's suggestion is even more poignant; Tim's got Timbits.

  • Seattlest Tom

    Mark, thanks for the heads up! I just might have swallow my pretentious indie pride and pop into that Starbucks on the Ave. Also, I'll get a coffee at Bulldog News, though, and investigate the source of their pastries --and maybe urge them to carry Top Pot.

  • Eric

    I'm fortunate enough to live near the Top Pot Wedgwood locale, but I do miss one thing about Dunkin' Donuts - munchkins. I haven't been able to find a decent donut hole is this town. The little carrier full of munchkins is like the ultimate icebreaker to bring to a meeting or some other early morning function. I heard somewhere that Top Pot does make donut holes but just for the employees.

  • Seattlest Tom

    Joe, I agree. I would happily do that commute if Seattle would only finally build the vacuum-powered, elevated, translucent-tube, people-mover technology to route us to our intended locations like 1930s business memos.

    Secondly, yes, the donut shop in the strip mall on 45th and Roosevelt is still there. It changed names about a year or two ago, though I suspect the owner is the same friendly Vietnamese man. It's called Ly's Donuts now and is somewhat less seedy than it used to be.

  • Joe

    Anyone with a true commitment to donuts would be willing to commute from the U District to Fremont by way of Belltown and the flagship Top Pot bakery there (yes, even with the current construction on the Fremont bridge).

    Is that weird little donut store still next to the supplement place on the SE corner or Roosevelt and 45th?

  • Mark

    I, like you, love doughnuts. And I, like you, have spent time in New England. While I have never had the pleasure of a Tim Horton's, I agree with your manifesto.

    But, here's a tip. I've become completely addicted to Top Pot and through dilligent research I've discovered that some, but by no means all, Starbucks stores sell the delectable pastries. Specifically:

    1) 4147 University Way

    2) University Village (only the big one)

    3) 7100 Greenlake Way

    I've also discovered that it takes 6 minutes and 10 seconds for me to get from my office at the UW to the Starbucks on the Ave where my doughnuts await.

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