Tenacious D Makes the Paramount a Living Hell

Rock stars are dark and mysterious, calculating and philanthropic, and almost always stylish and physically attractive. And then there are Jack Black and Kyle Gass.

The collectively overweight, bad-toothed, bald, poorly dressed, and lyrically challenged duo who call themselves The Greatest Band on Earth showed Friday’s Paramount crowd how truly enigmatic rock stars can be when they twist, shout, and don’t take themselves seriously.

As the house lights went down, the crowd roared, and the curtain went up, a shabby apartment set was revealed—and so were Tenacious D (Jables and Kage), emerging from an afternoon slumber on the couch. They got up and kicked things off in familiar, dueling acoustic guitar fashion with "Kielbasa," an ode to Jack’s penis that "has just got to perform." Several songs into the set, after shameless, balding, perma-sidekick Lee paid the guys a visit, Jack made a Dylan-esque joke about The D going electric, which propelled the show’s "plot": Tenacious D is electrocuted and sent to hell, where they recruit the Antichrist (guitar), Colonel Sanders (drums), and Charlie Chaplin (bass) to form the hard-rocking "Fellowship of the D." Eventually, they confront Satan himself (Lee, in red suit and horned mask, inferior in voice to Dave Grohl’s portrayal in the recent Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny), and challenge him to a high-stakes rock-off. And they blast through most of the songs off of their two albums in the process.

The D wins said rock-off, of course, in grandiose, Jack-sweat-flinging fashion. Seattle D-sciples, having watched the hilarious bomb of a flick or listened to its equally hilarious soundtrack, knew how the story would end. What they couldn’t predict was how Lee would temporarily steal the show from wild Jack and laid-back Kyle with his multiple costumed appearances. Overheard on the street following the show was a dude yelling into his cell phone: "He was the devil, he was a mushroom, he was The Metal, he was all this shit!"

If Tenacious D has officially gone five-piece, we’re sure that their fans will follow. And Jack and Kyle must know it, since they brought the complete band back out for two encores, playing a medley of The Who covers before leaving for good. If your audience sings along with most of your songs, reaches toward you with outstretched hands, and stands each time you leave the stage, they’ll probably follow you anywhere. Even hell. Because you’re a rock star.