Dolphins Do What Ehren Watada Won't
Realizing that trying to protect our way of life with humans gets people killed, the Navy has decided to do the job with sea lions and dolphins.
"Dozens of dolphins and sea lions trained to detect and apprehend waterborne attackers could be sent to patrol a Puget Sound military base, the Navy said Monday."
The dolphins would use their sonar to detect an enemy intruder, and then the sea lion would attach a special cuff to the enemy's leg, at which point the fat old humans would waddle into the water for the hot, hot underwater apprehension.
It should be pointed out that they tried this with a giraffe and an iguana during World War II, and it didn't go so well.
The dolphin/sea lion plan was proposed in the early nineties, but animal-rights-nazis stepped in and said that the cold Puget Sound water could kill the animals. That was before 9/11. We are now at war with an enemy who, although desert-based, probably has the technology to swim. We can't take any chances.
Maybe the best part about these critters is that they will do the job without worrying about illegal wars or their interpretation of the Constitution.
