Bad Valentine

We hate this loathsome holiday. And no, not for the reasons most people think. Right up there with Mother's Day, we're sick of the commercialization of relationships, of marketers trying to tug at people's unwitting ability to decide for themselves when and how to tell the people around them that they love them.

Last Friday, on the way to the Twilight Exit, we passed by the Safeway at 23rd and Madison, and it looked like a six-year-old beauty queen's wardrobe had exploded all over the store. We pointed it out to the husband, who can hardly utter a cruel word about anything, and even he agreed that it was horror incarnate. Then again, our idea of romance involves bike parts, so we're probably poor critics.

Someone at least had a little fun with this inane day over at Amazon.com, compiling a list of bad V-day gifts (granted, most of their site is given over to saccharine, red-heavy merchandising hell, too). Our favorite is All About Scabs, so pick that for your sweetie today.