Dear Canada, It Is Our Understanding That You Are Canadian
A Canadian mining minster in British Columbia recently flamed someone who wrote in about a policy decision via email. He pretty much tore the guy up and attacked him on the grounds of the guy's questionable Canadian pedigree ("It is my understanding that you are an American, I don't give a shit what your opinion is on Canada or Canadian residents"). Big story. The guy seems to have resigned over it. Shit's in the P-I.
It took us half the morning (about fifteen minutes, really) to dig up an actual copy of the actual complete text of the email he sent. It's easy to find a few choice clips from it in various newspapers, but despite claims that the email was "widely circulated" we had trouble circulating our own eyes on it. Well, we finally found it.
From: Bennett, Bill SMIN:EXSent: 29 January 2007 20:55
Subject: Your e-mail of November 19th
Mr. Hart,
I am in my hotel room in Vancouver tonight reviewing the wildlife allocation in preparation for a meeting I have with minister Penner and I came across your November 19th email. I have been reading through this stuff since 5 pm today and meanwhile downstairs in this hotel is the biggest mining conference in BC that I ought to be participating in. Fortunately, I am almost done with my review. Your email, mercifully, was at the very bottom of my pile of paper.
Let me be very direct with you, as you were with me.
- It is my understanding that you are an American, so I don't give a shit what your opinion is on Canada or Canadian residents.
- Our government does not "... bow to the almighty dollar and face east to Wall Street each day...", but we do recognize a fool when we come across one. How do you think you are representing the interests of your members when you insult the BC hunter's strongest advocate, yours truly. I have spent an inordinate amount of time trying to sort out this allocation file. It is complex, something that you obviously have enormous difficulty with. You don't know who your friends are, which makes you dumb.
- Don't lecture me about "listening to the wishes of my constituents". As someone who has spent the past six years working my ass off for my constituents, I am not about to take that kind of bullshit from someone who, for all I know, is up here as an American spy who is actually interested in helping the US create a park in the Flathead.
I will continue to work for hunters and anglers in the East Kootenay as I always have and you will continue to be a self-inflated, pompous, American know-it-all.
Have a nice day.
Bill Bennett
Gotta love that "have a nice day" at the end. Nothing quite finishes the feast of calling someone a fool, dumb, a spy, self-inflated, pompous, and, worst of all, American, like the sweet dessert of "have a nice day." Minister Bennett, sir, no, you are a fool. Furthermore, you're dumb. Furthermore, for all we know you are a Canadian terrorist. Have a nice day! Yeah, see, that hits the spot.
It doesn't quite strike us as a resign-able offense, however. Cheney probably sends twenty emails a day that are worse than this ("It is my understanding that you are a pussy. Go fuck yourself. And quit sending emails to my work account, Lynne"), but we're not going to pretend to know all the politics behind either the issue that was being discussed in the emails or the ramifications of labeling someone an American in Canada (Bill Bennett once told the governor of Montana to "Go back to the United States"). Maybe he had a resigning coming. The Canadian.
