Seattle Was Actually As Bad As Advertised On American Idol

Do the opening rounds of American Idol get less fun every year? On Wednesday night the show did their Seattle auditions and contestant after contestant got up in front of the judges and sucked brutally. There’s no one even close any more. They’re either obviously “going to Hollywood” or they’re so obnoxiously bad that Simon and the gang just sit there staring, “Are. You. Kidding. Me.” Are we just not evil enough to get enjoyment out of this? We can be kind of evil. It’s a little bit fun to watch someone get up there and suck, but is that little note of fun for us worth the thunderous chords of failure and ridicule that sound about the heads of the contestants? What the fuck. Makes us want to kick anyone at all involved with the show that much harder...

They showed about four people get through the Seattle audition. There was some dude with an afro named Thomas Daniels who did ok. There was a guy who answered “You’re going to do beatboxing? Are you good?” with “Yeah, I’m the champion here.” He was good. The guys who say they can beatbox always suck at beatboxing and then suck worse at singing. He was pretty good at both - Here’s his MySpace page, which is the only one we could find for any of the contestants. An Indian brother and sister made it through. [removed] They were both pretty good and cute. Anna Kearns stood out by being tall and black and singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T pretty well. She’ll be appearing in Hollywood. Jordan Sparks also made it through and we’re pretty sure this is her.

All of that took about five minutes. The remainder of the two hour show was filled with computer nerds singing very badly and other, less timid, abominations getting into shouting matches with Simon. One hairdresser was almost restrained after going at Simon’s hair with a can of wax he pulled from his pocket. All in all it was a complete waste of one hundred and twenty minutes and we’d been warned of that fact by all the “Seattle is awful” talk, but, well, we thought awful would be more entertaining. Most of the contestants weren’t even from the Pacific Northwest, much less Seattle, and it turns out that it’s a lot more fun to watch someone excel than it is to watch them suck. At least it ended in time to watch Maria Sharapova destroy someone else’s delusions on the tennis court at the Australian Open.

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By Dan in Arts & Events on January 18, 2007 7:00 AM

Comments [rss]

AngryAngee

I was just about to complain about this article but MichelleBee sums it up perfectly. My first and last time on this site.

MichelleBee

And another reader bites the dust....

I have been hoping Seattlest would become the go-to place for Seattle happenings and tah-do's but it's really just Dan's blog. Lame.

Minna

I can't believe "Dan" thinks this is acceptable. Or funny. And his response to the comments was even more appropriate. And we are not talking about Isiah Washington either. We are talking about "Dan" and his ignorance and boorishness. You just lost one reader.

M. Rupal.

FINISHTAG

Poor taste, Dan. Really sticks out in the post. Why don't you swallow your pride and edit it so this isn't online for posterity?

Even Isaiah Washington has (AGAIN) admitted his mistake.

Kevin

HAHA diehard liberal, you got pwn3d by Maya Angelou! Sucka!

Are you serious

Maybe you guys should get Isaiah Washington from "Grey's Anatomy" to do your Gay and Lesbian coverage. He's got a mouth just like you. Remember one thing...all racism is bad racism. There is no such thing as excusable racism.

A quote from Maya Angelou for your reading pleasure and education.

"I will not sit in a group of black friends and hear racial pejoratives against whites. I will not hear "honky." I will not hear "Jap." I will not hear "kike." I will not hear "greaser." I will not hear "dago." I will not hear it. As soon as I hear it, I say, "Excuse me, I have to leave. Sorry." Or if it's in my home, I say, "You have to leave. I can't have that. That is poison, and I know it is poison, and you're smearing it on me. I will not have it." Now, it's not an easy thing. And one doesn't all of a sudden sort of blossom into somebody who's courageous enough to say that. But you do start little by little. And you sit in a room, and somebody says -- if you're all white, and somebody says, "Well, the niggers -- " You may not have the courage right then, but you say, "Whooh! My goodness! It's already eight o'clock. I have to go," and leave. Little by little, you develop courage. You sit in a room, and somebody says, "Well, you know what the Japs did then, and what they're doing now." Say, "Mm-hmm! I have to go. My goodness! It's already six o'clock." Leave. Continue to build the courage. Sooner or later, you'll be able to say out loud, "Just a minute. I defend that person. I will not have gay bashing, lesbian bashing. Not in my company. I will not do it."

Indian comment

Very inappropriate, ignorant and in poor taste.

oh noes! i've been described!

I say this as a diehard liberal: The only problem I see here is a flock of kneejerk weenies who had their day made by finding something over which they could feel outraged.

If he wanted to be offensive, he could have used the standard "Slurpee Indian" descriptive that's usually in that term.

Dan

Alright, Indians from India, then. Man, you let one insulting, unfunny, tasteless, boorish and rude clarification slip out and everyone jumps down your throat.

Andrew Davis

"Computer Indian, not casino Indian."

Damn dude, harsh.

Why not "smart indian, not drunk indian" while you're at it?

Kevin

Offensive? It could be worse. Boorish and rude? yup.

This would be the moment when Dan realizes he's not Jay-Z.

Jason

What about "Asian, not American"?

Audrey

Perhaps you'd prefer "Dot, not feather"?

Matt the Engineer

Funny, I don't see anything derogatory there. I don't think the stereotypes of native american tribes making money from casinos, or India's programmer resources, are concepts that either group is particularly sensitive about - I would guess the contrary, as both are profitable industries worthy of pride.

Jason

Ditto here, that was in pretty poor taste. And for the record, I am a liberal.

Agreed

dale

i thought the same thing. seattlest, you suck.

Dale Meken

computer indian not casino indian?

wow! if rush limbaugh used that "distinction" you'd be foaming at the mouth. Conservatives are right about one thing (and maybe one thing only) -- there IS a double standard applied to comments such as the above when they are made by people of a more "liberal" bent (a "C"onservative reading SEATTLEST? Impossible!)