Ichiro Wants Out? Or Is He Lost in Translation?

Via Slog, via USS Mariner, comes a report that Ichiro said in an interview he's going to leave Seattle after this season because the Mariners suck.

At Seattlest, we are not only optimistic about all things Mariner, we are pessimistic about all things translated. These two traits combine nicely here, as we're reminded of something Jorge Luis Borges wrote (which, of course, we read in translation, but let's skip that detail because the passage makes us hope the Ichiro rumor is wrong).

Around 1916, I decided to devote myself to the study of the Oriental literatures. Working with enthusiasm and credulity through the English version of a certain Chinese philosopher, I came across this memorable passage: "A man condemned to death doesn't care that he is standing at the edge of a precipice, for he has already renounced life." Here the translator attached an asterisk, and his note informed me that this interpretation was preferable to that of a rival Sinologist, who had translated the passage thus: "The servants destroy the works of art, so that they will not have to judge their beauties and defects." Then, like Paolo and Francesca, I read no more. A mysterious skepticism had slipped into my soul.

There--see? Rumor's wrong. The foremost literary critic of the 20th century who you can actually read without consulting a postmodernist thought glossary every other sentence says so. We will now plug our ears with our fingers and sing "Mary Had a Little Lamb" until pitchers and catchers report.