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Ever Try to Throw a Football With Auld Lang Syne Stuck in Your Head?

grossman.jpgOur national football correspondent, Pauls Toutonghi, is scouting potential Seahawks playoff opponents for us, and may have found a way to make the Bears' Rex Grossman even worse

Rex Grossman recently told reporters that he regretted not giving his "full attention" to his preparations for the Bears' season ending game with Green Bay. This would, of course, be unsurprising to anyone who saw Grossman's line in the box score: 2-for-12, 3 INTs (two returned for touchdowns), and one lost fumble.

What was a little surprising, however, was his reasoning.

"And the situation was," Grossman explained, "I felt like I was going to play about a half, and it was the last game, and it was New Year's Eve... there were so many factors that brought my focus away from what is actually important..."

Ah. Understood. New Year's Eve. After all, who could play football on New Year's Eve? Not the starting quarterback for the Chicago Bears, who was -- at last report -- making about 50,000 dollars a game.

Thus, in the spirit of Grossman's latest on-field performance, we've put together a little list of holidays that might be dangerous for the Bears as the playoffs approach:

January 6th: National Bean Day. Who can play professional football on National Bean Day?
January 8th: Elvis Presley's Birthday. We're talking 1 for 17, 4 INTs, and a voluntary safety.
January 9th: National Apricot Day. Even more distracting than National Bean Day.
January 14th: National Dress Up Your Pet Day. "Honey, can we dress Rex up like a quarterback?" "Already been done."
January 18th: Winnie the Pooh Day. Misses kickoff as he's watching the International Poohsticks Championships.
January 21st: National Hugging Day. To be fair, we'll be pretty distracted on this day, too. Local elementary school, here we come!

And, of course, the Super Bowl is played on that Day of all Days: February 4th, National Create a Vacuum Day.

Here's to you, Rex Grossman. Wherever you go, you create a vacuum. Why? Because... yes... you suck.

Sorry. Couldn't resist

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By Seth in on January 4, 2007 3:50 PM

Comments [rss]

  • Pauls

    Oooooo! Bears fans are scared because they fear the Seahawks.

  • Mr. Smith

    Here's another way to throw him off. Tell him the game is important and being watched by a lot of people. You're welcome.

    I am going to start printing up t-shirts with Grossman's face and the words "Our Douchebag" along the bottom. Just to be supportive.

  • Whatever - at least he's honest. What's Shawn Alexander and Matt Hasselbeck's excuse for being super sucky all year? Grossman may be a douchebag, but he is Chicago's douchebag. Write about your own team. We have an "ist" in the Windy City. Don't you have some sort of horse porn story to report on?

  • Dan

    Here's my IM transcript from this morning regarding this:

    friend: "Bears quarterback Rex Grossman says he learned an important lesson by not giving it "100 percent" while preparing for Chicago's regular-season finale against the Green Bay Packers last Sunday."

    me: ha

    me: "And the situation was I felt like I was going to play about a half, and it was the last game, it was New Year's Eve -- "

    friend: "fuck it"

    me: ha

    me: yea, fuck it rex

    me: "dude, it was new years eve"

    friend: "all i could think about was a jeager bomber at the duff"

    Actually you're forgetting that the biggest holiday of the winter actually falls on the same day they play the super bowl: Super Bowl Sunday! We're fucked.

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