Post-Fiesta Bowl Scooter Accident Nearly Kills Idaho Billionaire Potato King

Bob Stoops' pride wasn't the only victim of Boise State's ridonkulous Fiesta Bowl victory--J.R. Simplot, a.k.a. "Mr. Spud," Idaho's richest man, is in intensive care after his scooter flipped over in the parking lot after the game.

Simplot, who's worth about $3 billion, owns a namesake agribusiness company that makes seeds, fertilizer and chemicals, and sells billions of potatoes a year. In 2001, he told Esquire magazine how he got started:

I left home for good when I was fourteen and got a hotel room in Declo, Idaho. I stopped milking the cows, and my old man got hard on me, and I said, "I'll make it on my own." So I moved up there and got to trading hogs and got busy at every goddamn thing, and hogs got awful cheap. There wasn't a market for hogs, so I went to my dad and I said, "I want to build a hog-feeding deal down on the creek." He helped me build this cooker. It would hold thirty bags of potatoes and two horses. And we fed three hundred hogs I picked up. I fed them with potatoes and horse meat. There was five hundred head of wild horses in the desert, and I'd go out and shoot them, jerk the hides off them, and get a couple of bucks for the hides, which kept me in gasoline. In the spring, I sold those hogs and made seven thousand bucks, bought a string of horses, and started farming. I now own more deeded land than any man in America.

Now there's a guy who can appreciate a halfback pass on fourth and two. A HALFBACK PASS!!! You don't need a caliper to tell that Idahoans lead the world in testicle size.