It Wasn't Supposed to End Like This

We can't remember the last time a news story brought us to tears. Others have gone missing--we've watched, we've hoped they'd be found but with an inevitable slight detachment buffered by distance and not knowing the people intimately. And yet like so many others across the country, we were glued to the Kims, we held our breath for every piece of news. They had to be found; a kind, good family that just went off the road one night? That can't end sadly, it just can't.

This morning when we heard that helicopters were searching with infrared, and dropping care packages at hot spots, and James Kim was leaving what seemed like clues, we really believed they would find him. He is smart, resourceful, we thought. They will find him. We felt no twinge of pessimism, and we're naturally pessimistic. We pondered what we would have done if faced with the same situation. Often, Seattlest expects the worse, but in this case we only believed the best would happen. We so desperately wish this had ended otherwise.

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By Courtney in News on December 6, 2006 4:00 PM

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Courtney

Giantladysquirrels, there is a parallel. However, I do not see that "the media" is calling James Kim brave--a lot of individuals are saying that, which is what is being quoted in media stories. For what it is worth, I believe he was brave, but did the wrong thing. The two are separable. However, like so many others close to his age, education, etc this has forced me to ask myself over and over what I would have done in that situation. When snowshoeing or in the backcountry, yes I would never separate. That has been pummeled into my being. But all day yesterday I couldn't get the image out of my head of being in that car with my own kids (I don't actually have kids but want to) and wondering with my husband if indeed one of us should head back down the road we came up when we got stranded? I even imagined us saying "We know we're not supposed to split up but..." That's where the anguish in this whole event becomes the most poignant--they'd reached that point of true desperation.

And I believe that is what James Kim thought he was going to do: backtrack the route they drove in on before they slid off the road. On a road, he couldn't get lost, he thought, and we've been here nine days with no rescue, and so on. How impossible it is to stop thinking that if he just had stayed with them for two more days...It is agonizing.

Don't forget, if you're looking to the media on this one, halfway through this story the SF Chronicle did exactly what I'd asked the media in Seattle to do when that snowshoer went missing, which is reiterate the things one should and should not do in such a situation when it is most vivid for people. They did exactly the right thing and published a direct, non-accusatory "how-to" article with tons of useful information. I'm adding items to the trunk of my car based on that article. And they did specifically mention that people should not separate in that kind of situation.

Andrea

I am brokenhearted at this news. I too had a lot of faith that James would be found, and the family reunited. There's no use in blaming James. He did the best he could with what he had. He held out for seven days without going for help. None of us can say what we would do under the same circumstances. I have nothing but admiration for him and the sacrifice that he hoped he would not be forced to make for his wife and little girls. This is a tragedy for everyone.

giantladysquirrels

This whole story reinforces Seattlest's comments on the lost hiker at Snoqualmie Pass a few weeks ago. For pete's sake, don't leave the group when you're in a snowy wilderness! Why is the media calling this man brave, without reminding other people that his behavior should NOT be emulated?!

Shelley

I felt exactly the same way about this story. I think that some people, particularly those of us in the tech/hipster demographic, were so shaken by this story because James Kim and his family are us. We are maybe 1.2 degrees away from them and their entire community of friends. We can easily put ourselves, our families, our friends in the Kims' situation and realize that we may not have made any different choices. And that is scary as hell.

Jake of 8bitjoystick.com

We can take solace in the fact that his wife and two little kids are now finally safe and healthy and also in the fact that he died trying to save them. He was very brave to head out into the dark and cold alone to search for help and it is a tragedy that it did not work out. His two kids are going to grow up knowing that his dad loved them very much and he died trying to save them.

When I was a kid my dad made my brother and I take a gun safety and wilderness survival course when my brother started hunting with my dad. It taught me just how brutal the wilderness and cold can be.