Javadise Lost: Part II

Editor's Note: Earlier this year, Seattlest Clint's favorite coffee shop was shuttered. What followed was a series of indignities that should chill the heart of any coffee-loving Seattleite. By which we mean, any Seattleite. We present Clint's harrowing story in five parts, which began yesterday and will continue all week.

We drink coffee. Black, no room. Occasionally, with an espresso float—a shot in the dark. We don't do steamed milk, blends, or anything with ice or syrup. We like it fast, uncomplicated. (We don't like haughty airs, rolled eyes, or scones.) Since Peet's was evicted from our neighborhood, we've searched Queen Anne up and down for great coffee, and we haven't been overly impressed.

Caffe Fiore
Fiore employs the Stylish Bedhead Barista. There are usually several, but sometimes there's just one. And the friendliness either borders on "Shut up and pour it" or "Hello?" They dispense their (decent, organic) coffee from a pump-carafe, which we hate. From the moment this brew splashes down, it needs a reheat. (Hello, bitterness.) Sizes are weird here—small is truly tiny. If you're out for a walk off the hill's beaten path, give it a try. Not an option for lazies commuting south.

Café Appassionato
If we're not on foot, this lofty, organic-beaned place never crosses our mind. Dubious about their drip, we recently tried a Turkish coffee—an ounce of coffee concentrate, sweetened and black as a clear night. Good stuff, but too pricey and chintzy for the incredibly long wait. Again, the drip is pumped and lukewarm within minutes. While you're waiting: Sit at the window and make faces at the cool kids outside the 5 Spot across the street.

El Diablo
Drip coffee doesn't exist here. (WTF?) The closest you'll get is an americano. So we get the Cortadito, like the Turkish thing in size and strength, but a sweeter, more satisfying (and equally expensive) sip. Great if you're looking for some quality time with your Stranger/book/laptop/new mp3 gadget. Another no-go for the QA commuter.

Tully's
Good, strong coffee for a weekend morning. The place (and the chain) still lacks identity, so the menu's a spattering of smoothies, swirled stuff, and ice cream. But they know what a shot in the dark is, and serve it up hot. Location and parking situation make it another impossibility before work, which sucks.