Peppermint Lattes And Intifada

A Thankyou To All Starbucks Customers
Written by Howard Schultz

Dear Starbucks Customer,

First and foremost I want to thank you for making Starbucks the $6.4 billion global company it is today, with more than 90,000 employees, 9,700 stores, and 33 million weekly customers. Every latte and macchiato you drink at Starbucks is a contribution to the close alliance between the United States and Israel, in fact it is - as I was assured when being honored with the “Israel 50th Anniversary Friend of Zion Tribute Award” - key to Israel’s long-term PR success. Your daily Chocolate Chips Frappucino helps paying for student projects in North America and Israel, presenting them with the badly needed Israeli perspective of the Intifada.

This hilarious forgery goes on and on and gets better with each paragraph, culminating in this gem:

So next time you feel like chilling out at a Starbucks store, please remember that with every cup you drink at Starbucks you are helping with a "noble" cause (i.e. helping Israelis maintain their oppression of the Palestinian people).

You would think that most readers wouldn't get much past "Your daily Chocolate Chips Frappucino helps paying for student projects in North America and Israel, presenting them with the badly needed Israeli perspective of the Intifada" before sensing that something isn't quite right, but since Starbucks Gossip felt the need to point out that this letter is bullshit we have to assume that some people have taken it for the real thing. We will never stop being amazed at the ridiculous crap people (Seattlest included, of course) will believe if it's vaguely in line with one of the crackpot theories knocking around their skulls. Take this Creationist museum, for example...

Contact the author of this article or email tips@seattlest.com with further questions, comments or tips.

By Dan in News on November 22, 2006 10:44 AM

Comments [rss]

dantsea

I think even Seattle's most die-hard independent cafe aficionados would find the Israeli loyalty and devotion to their local java joints a tad unsettling. And for those times when they can't be near the one they love, there are several well-established national chains.

Into this market strolls Starbucks and its local licensee, having managed to convince each other that simply lighting up the mermaid logo outside the shop would bring them both riches beyond imagination. Screw learning about the local markets and its needs, they were bringing The Starbucks Experience to the country and that's all that mattered.

The Starbucks Experience included minimal advertising. They never had to advertise in the states, so why do it differently there? The existing national chains advertise heavily.

The Starbucks Experience includes charging a premium price for coffee. In this case, coffee brewed The Starbucks Way. Israelis tend to like their coffee brewed The Israeli Way, which tends to be dark, strong and slightly sweet. The local cafes and chains had this, along with sane pricing.

Oh, and then most importantly, The Starbucks Experience includes placing your order at the counter and then clumping together with the herd of people by the McLatte machines for the barista to call the drink. Israelis prefer table service to self service, and probably expected it at those prices.

In the end, the licensee was begging Starbucks to let them out of the deal before they went bankrupt. Yeah, part of the

Dan

I realized that there were no Starbucks in Irael while trying to find a logo in Hebrew to post with this. I don't know if I buy your explanation, though. "they were rejected in favor of the superior coffee and atmosphere to be had at other cafes" C'mon, there are a dozen cafes within a five minute walk of where I currently sit that have superior coffee and atmosphere to Starbucks, as well as like 7 Starbucks cafes that don't exactly seem like they're struggling to establish a beach head in the Seattle market.

Carey McGee

The ironic thing is that Starbucks failed in Israel. I was living there during the brief period when there were a few Starbucks in the country, but they were rejected in favor of the superior coffee and atmosphere to be had at other cafes (even including at least one other American franchise -- the Coffee Bean).

After two years, Starbucks pulled out. It of course led to cries of antisemitism by people who didn't realize that Israelis just didn't like the place and the company had taken a bath on the venture.