"Inspector Clouseau" Bungles Happy Hour Review
So, somehow it escaped our attention until yesterday that in the last issue of Seattle Weekly, Adriana Grant, the editorial assistant, was dispatched to do a hatchet-job on one of our favorite U-District Bars, Kai's Bistro.
Actually, the reason we didn't notice is that we didn't bother to actually pick up a copy of Seattle's most dispensable newspaper until Monday night, when we found ourselves with a spare hour and half and wandered into said bar/restaurant with a copy to read over dinner. That's when we alighted on this gem of a review.
"Just off the Ave, Kai's Bistro & Lounge is, as my friend put it, a place Inspector Clouseau might stop in for a drink," writes Grant in a meager, 200-word review tucked away under the title "Happy Hour." Now, we haven't seen any of The Pink Panther movies in a few years (and God help us, we'll never see the Steve Martin remake), but we can't quite figure out why "blood-red walls and what look like secret compartments tucked above the front door" would bring to mind a '60s Peter Sellers slapstick comedy. David Lynch, perhaps, but Blake Edwards?
The review of the food and service was middling-to-bad. "The food is just OK" and the burger "passable." Grant "waited patiently for a nice, no-nonsense margarita," which is food writer-speak for "service slow, cocktails pedestrian and uninspired."
We take a lot of umbrage at this description. Firstly, while we can agree that the happy hour burger isn't the best thing on the menu (is happy hour food ever?), it would be fair to point out that for $8, you have access to a selection of the best gourmet sandwiches and burgers on the Ave. The alder-smoked bacon cheddar burger, served on ciabatta roll, is phenomenal. For the die-hard meat-lover, the prime rib French dip is an elegant slice of rare-cooked meat that seldom disappoints. And if you're looking for a real meal, the à la carte dinners (usually $14) are fantastic: choice meats (duck, fish, hen) served on beds of polenta with fresh greens, in tasty, unique sauces. And how can we forget the soups? A nice mixture of vegetarian and non, with hearty split pea pork, brothy chicken tortilla, and our favorite soup du jour, a cream of broccoli that spices it up with a heavy peppering.
As for the service, has Grant never heard of just being busy? The place is usually bustling (for the above- described menu) at happy hour. It's a smaller place, and it doesn't take them long to get to know you. When we wandered in yesterday, the cute brunette bartender Amy poured us a glass of our usual and brought it to the table for us before we even got our coat off. And while it pays to be a regular, even the non-regular can surely enjoy a bar that—on the odd Friday night—can take a Coyote Ugly turn when Journey's "Midnight Train" comes on, with an assortment of frat boys, punk rockers and young professionals taking a singing and dancing along. Cliche? Maybe. But you gotta love it anyway.
