We Asked An Uptight Seattleite Of Our Own

The first time we saw "Ask an Uptight Seattleite" in Seattle Weekly we thought it was a fake headline for "Ask a Mexican" and was supposed to be some kind of joke reaction to Seattle's reaction to "Ask a Mexican." Then we read it and it was the funniest thing we've probably ever read in the Weekly. It was funny and accurate (and exactly the kind of thing that would be great on Seattlest) and it gave us a glimmer of hope for the alt-weekly that's been living under a cloud of Big Changes Coming for, it seems like, ever. If this is the new Weekly, the promised New Yorker of Seattle, maybe it's going to work. Maybe it can make its way back into must-readville, assuming it ever had an address there. We weren't born here, so who knows.

Then it appeared in the paper again the following week. Still funny. Still accurate. Where'd they dig up this person and how can we get them a Macbook and a Blogger.com account? Today's version talks about four-way stops:

In the case of two cars at a four-way stop, the driver who is more considerate is right, and the one who is somewhat less considerate is wrong. That's not to say that the less considerate driver is a bad person. It's likely that, through the circumstances of their upbringing and their lack of opportunities, or perhaps because they are a product of diversity, their sense of consideration is different than, for example, mine. I always have to remind myself that not everyone has had the opportunities I've had.

So how do you communicate in a situation like this? If you are the more considerate driver, you should smile and indicate with a wave of your hand that you are graciously granting the other car permission to proceed. There may be some back-and-forth while both drivers attempt to establish their dominance in the field of being considerate.

Seattlest's favorite viewing spot for this activity is this dreaded five-way stop, fortuitously caught in action by Google Maps.

And yet. Through all the belly laughs and pounding of any available surface and exclamations of the truth of it all ("So fucking true!") another something that seemed like truth crept into Seattlest's mind. An "And yet." Isn't "Ask an Uptight Seattleite" kind of passive-aggressive and uptight in the bombs it anonymously underhands? Is it the devastating fun-house mirror of satire it first seemed, or is it just another product of the mores it- You know what? Screw that. That kind of analysis has uptight Seattleite written all over it. This column's hilarious. And yet, as Seattleites can we really take a position without some kind of consensus? We asked a Seattleite for verification, the most uptight Seattleite we know, actually.

Seattlest: 'ask an uptight seattleite' - yay or nay?

Uptight Friend: as a thing for seattlest? could be funny

Uptight Friend: could be lame

So far funny, and everyone should be reading it. Here are the first three editions: one, two, three.