Serena Maneesh Kicked It after Woven Hand Sucked It

The Evangelicals, Woven Hand and Serena Maneesh played Neumo's last night.

Tom stood in the audience of about 20 people as the lead singer of the Evangelicals told the house to dim the stage lights. When the lights were dimmed, the stage filled with smoke. This was something that Tom had never seen at Neumo's before. Then the noise came. And it came again, louder. It came in the form of an awesome drum riff, loud droning bass, guitar, and synthesizer notes. Tom thought the band was pretty cool and admired the bass player for playing his bass and playing the synthesizer with the head of his bass at the same time, but then they said they were from Oklahoma
and Tom had to hate them. Besides, all of their songs were very loud, then very quiet, then very loud. It was predictable.

Woven Hand Sucks It

Their predictability may have put Tom in a bitter mood, and it might be true to say that he never gave Woven Hand a fair chance. It also might be true to say that Woven Hand never deserved a fair chance. Woven Hand took the stage and proceeded to sound check.

Tom thought to himself, "What, it's just one guy? Why does one guy need 15 minutes for a sound check? I don't trust him."

As Woven Hand played his first song with one repeating riff and some seemingly random electronic noise from a sampler, Tom's suspicions were confirmed. Woven Hand indeed sucked it. To pass the time, Tom tried to ignore Woven Hand's mournful voice and came up with slogans for him:
"Woven Hand, a new guitar for every song"
"Woven Hand, breathes weirdly into the mic as percussion"
"Woven Hand, playing music like a pussy since 1984"

Somewhere in the middle of thinking "I want nachos," Tom realized that Woven Hand had left, and that Serena Maneesh was about to take the stage.

Serena Maneesh Kicks It

When Serena Maneesh played, his entire body vibrated. Tom thought that if he stood any closer to the amplifiers, the music might carve itself into his bones. The My Bloody Valentine influenced sheer melodic noise would carve itself so deep that 2000 years after he died, archeologists could dig up his bones, put them in a preserved record player, and rock out. Serena Maneesh did play loud, but they also played hard. They played so hard and threw themselves around the stage and were so excited that they nearly smashed their instruments during the second song. This is no exaggeration, and it made Tom happy. Tom went home and ate nachos.