It's Our Least Favorite Season of the Year

Fall? No. College football season. We hate it. Specifically, we hate the Cougar/Husky rivalry.

Why? Because we don't care. We went to a microscopic liberal arts college in the midwest.

But we hear about it anyway. It's easier to avoid Packer-themed jibber-jabber in the shadow of Green Bay than it is to avoid Dawgs and Cougs exchanging antique insults and warmed-over jokes originally told about more interesting teams.

We're sick of mass emails sent to the entire company encouraging everyone to donate to a good cause -- and, OMG!!!, get the Wazzu flag on top of the Space Needle! And the followup emails from Huskies. And the Coug re-responses. And the resulting feedback loop. It's like a Three Stooges rendition of the Hatfields versus the McCoys, but with bad spelling and gratuitous exclamation points.

Confidential to Husky fans: Cougs lived in Pullman for four years. It's the second-biggest lentil capital of the world after Moscow, Idaho. There's nothing to do there but make cheese, count wheat, and go berzerk over football. You usually beat them in the Apple Cup, anyway. They refer to their school as "Wazzu" on purpose -- how seriously can you take them?

Confidential to Coug fans: Does anyone say "Huskin' it"? About anything other than corn? No. Dawg fans envy your success, both on the field and in those "raise money for charity" efforts. They'd be satisfied just winning the Apple Cup every year. They've got a low bar for satisfaction. Let 'em roll in it.

Note to all of you: We're not really asking you to shut up. Just create a damn email alias for people who give a shit about meaningless football rivalries.

Or at the very least, write some better material.