Notes from Snakes

Seattlest hit the first local showing of Snakes on a Plane last night at Cinerama. It was Seattlest, our friends, and about 1,000 high-school kids.

The ticket-holders line was a few hundred strong, stretching nearly the entire block betweeen Lenora and Blanchard. We slowly got drunk on clandestine vodka, and yelled at passing cars.

The theater itself (doors opened at 9) was raucous. Previews were welcomed with enthusiasm--it helped that they were for the new Borat movie (not to be missed), a new Tenacious D movie (perhaps to be missed) and Jackass 2 (we were drunk enough to find this hilarious)

SoaP began with a long credits sequence that contained *no* snakes. Our human protagonist, a BMX biker who can't act, is introduced, along with not one or two but three Red Bull product shots. At the first sight of Samuel L. Jackson, the crowd erupted with delight.

Then we met the passengers and crew. For one flight attendent, played by Julianna Margulies, it's her "last flight before retirement." Ya don't say. Many in the crowd were yelling out plot predictions as we met the passengers. It wasn't too hard to guess that the stuffy British man who complained about being moved to coach was going to meet a greusome demise. Which he did.

Good line from the audience--one of the crew says "Guess who's on the plane?" and a gallery wit shouts out "SNAKES!!!"

When the plane took off, there was a huge cheer from the crowd, and an even larger one when we first see the snakes. Lots of people in the audience were hissing. And we got our first glimpse of the finest cinematic tool in movie history...SNAKEVISION! Yes, we see from the snakes' perspective, which apparently is fuzzy and all green, like a broken oscillator.

After the initial attack, the passengers must band together. The gay flight attendent does his job--correctly identifying a snake's underbelly as teal, not blue to the snakes expert who's called in. This expert is appropriately nerdy and pretentious.

There's also a rapper with OCD on the plane. Really there's a host of characters, some of which are introduced and then disappear forever, like the kickboxer. Or there are personality quirks that we learn about but never come into play. It's like the movie have eight different screenwriters, which of course it probably did.

It's basically a bad movie. But the crowd makes it fun. Get drunk, yell, enjoy yourself. Do NOT go to a matinee.

P.S. The line you are waiting for is toward the end of the movie, obviously spliced in late. Good Times.