Dishin’: Chew Chew

“All aboard.” We thought we heard those words, and the tell-tale sound of the horn, as we ran down the tracks to get on the Spirit of Washington Dinner Train. Or did we just imagine that as part of the promise of a romantic evening of food and fun while riding the rails?

Everything looked good at the start. The old railroad car feel. Silverware, stemware, and a basket of breads sitting on a white tablecloth. And curtained windows framing a glimpse of downtown Renton—a view we’d have to endure for an hour. Apparently, a cow was sitting on the tracks somewhere ahead, and we weren’t moving until it moved.

The ride was okay. Spectacular? No. Scenic? At times (save for the backside views of warehouses, dumpsters, etc.). Passing grades for the trip to and from Woodinville, which included a speedy stopover tour of the Columbia Winery.

As for the food, note that Seattlest is realistic. We didn’t have high expectations for a meal on wheels for over 350 people. We saw the Sysco cans (or similar) in the kitchen galleys.

But this was pretty bad.

We ordered the Pork Osso Buco. The shank was tender enough, but the so-called basil-burgundy marina sauce seemed to lack basil, burgundy and, well, marinara. The sauce tasted like ketchup-infused Ragu spaghetti sauce. The accompanying parmesan-herb mashed potatoes would have been filling had we gotten past the chalky taste, and the medley of vegetables was predictably overcooked and bland.

As a dining experience, the evening would likely appeal to Cheesecake Factory fans who’ve never ridden a train. The idea is far better than the execution. Next time, we’ll stop at the Great Wall Mall first and sneak some spice-enhanced Asian food onto the train. Culinarily, we wish we were simply all a-bored. In actuality, regarding the food: All abhorred.