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On Monday, Ichiro launched this confusing monologue at an MLB.com reporter about how the Mariners can improve:
"If there is a problem, we need to notice what creates the problem. The problem usually isn't just on the cover. You need to look much deeper. For example, if we're talking about a tree and the tree has a problem, you need to look at the root. But you cannot see the root. The mistake is to keep watering the fruit. That's not going to solve anything."
What the hell does that mean?
If the Mariners find the root, or stop watering the fruit, or somehow photosynthesize their way to the World Series, they'll get home field advantage! No thanks to Ichiro, who was 0-3 in last night's All-Star Game, won 3-2 by the AL.
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I think it means Ichiro wants to move to CF.
I'd hate to see Ich in center, putting wear on his legs the whole year...but how about this...put him there for the stretch run!
Pick up some relatively competent power-hitting corner outfielder at the trading deadline, your Reggie Sanders or Jose Cruz, Jr., platoon him for a month, then move him to RF and Ich to CF in mid-August.
Being There is a better example. The big difference being that Chauncey Gardiner wasn’t very bright, while Ichiro! most assuredly is.
The novel was written well before Ronnie Reagan or Dubya became President.