Local Blog Review: Dave's Long Box

Seattlest used to read a lot of comic books. We still read comic books, actually, just not as many of them since we shook the Marvel monkey off our back in college. (Yeah, we read trade paperback collections from the library. And started buying 52. Shut up.)

But even at the height of our geekdom, we doubt we read as many comic books as David Campbell, the local guy behind Dave's Long Box. "I'm going to review my comic book collection and you're going to like it!" he cries, and it's one of those rare marketing promises that does not lie. Because Dave, it turns out, is a funny guy. Yes, he reads more comic books than is probably healthy for a freelance writer/father of two, but he manages to enjoy them while turning a skeptical, hilarious eye on their faults and cliches.

For example, he notes that lame-ass villain Dr. Dorcas was a renegade marine biologist, not an occupation that strikes fear into the heart of, well, anyone: "a renegade marine biologist bent on world domination! How intimidating is that? That's like if Richard Dreyfuss's character from Jaws decided to be a super-villain." Zing!

One of the best examples (and, we're sure, one of his biggest search engine draws) is Dave's Boob War Week, which climaxes in a long discussion of Power Girl's decolletage. He's honest: Power Girl is a stupid character with multiple confusing origins and no real personality. But she's got huge boobs.

Power Girl is at once the most generic and most sexualized super heroine in mainstream comics. I believe that they key to whatever popularity Power Girl has is her generic, blank-slate quality – she is a tabula rasa that comic book fans and creators alike can project their conscious and unconscious desires on to.

That, and she is built like a brick outhouse.

Power Girl’s bosom is her most prominent feature, and prominent is the word. If she were real, and she showed up to rescue you, you would be going, “Daaamn!” Eye contact with her would be impossible –such is the er, power of Power Girl’s Magical Cleavage.

We love Dave's Long Box, despite his occasional lame random picture posts, the unending fortnight that was Hiatus Week, the search engine that turns up a page of tantalizing links that don't work (can you get to see Master Pandemonium or Unus? We can't), and the fact that we don't read most of the comics he reviews.

The guy showboats as he declines to make obvious Batman loves Robin jokes. Who can't love that?